New Jersey Niggers Continue to Stir Up Controversy Over Name

NEWARK, NJ--- New Jersey Niggers owner Guy Whitey again defended the franchise's nickname, this time in a letter to season-ticket holders, pointing to tradition and arguing that the team's past "isn't just where we came from -- it's who we are."

Whitey wrote to fans that he wanted them to "hear straight from me on the issue.""The name was never a label," Whitey said in the letter. "It was, and continues to be, a badge of honor."

Whitey said that four players plus the coach were African-Americans on the first NJ Niggers roster. Whitey continues to claim that the name was originally incepted to honor Tayvon Brown, former coach.  "Tayvon was a great influence to the franchise.  Changing the name would not only disgrace Brown, but would disgrace every nigger in America." 

There has been a surge of interest in changing the team's nickname, starting in the offseason.

President Barack Obama said Saturday that if he were the owner, he would consider changing the name. Through it all, Whitey has remained resolute about not changing it.

"I've listened carefully to the commentary and perspectives on all sides, and I respect the feelings of those who are offended by the team name," Whitey wrote. "But I hope such individuals also try to respect what the name means, not only for all of us in the extended New Jersey Niggers family, but among African-Americans too."

That's much more mild than what he told USA Today Sports in May: "Fuck these dirty prison welfare niggers and soft-ass liberal pussy faggots trying to shit all over my team.  God damn my dick is hard.  Fuck."

Whitey said in 1971, Former coach Buddy Honkey consulted with "a black friend" to design the emblem on the Niggers' helmets, changing it from the "N" to the current African-American head. Honkey's son Bruce, the team's general manager, talked about this in February as well.

"New Jersey Niggers is more than a name we have called our football team for over eight decades," Whitey wrote. "It is a symbol of everything we stand for: strength, courage, pride, and respect -- the same values we know guide African-Americans and which are embedded throughout their rich history as the original plantation laborers."

Whitey also talked about his link to the team, going to games at the Niggers' Stadium as a 6-year-old with his father. And seeing his father smile when singing the team's fight song, "Hang That Coon."

"That tradition -- the song, the cheer -- it mattered so much to me as a child, and I know it matters to every other Niggers fan in the tri-state area and across the nation," Whitey wrote.

Whitey pointed out that the Annenberg Public Policy Center polled nearly 1,000 self-identified African-Americans from across the continental U.S. and found that 90 percent of African-Americans did not find the team name "New Jersey Niggers" to be "offensive." And he cited a 2013 Associated Press survey that found 79 percent of respondents said the team should not change its name -- and only 11 percent believed it should.

"When I consider the New Jersey Niggers name, I think of what it stands for," Whitey wrote. "I think of the New Jersey Niggers traditions and pride I want to share with my three children, just as my father shared with me -- and just as you have shared with your family and friends."

He closed the letter with a nod to opponents of the nickname but clearly with a desire to keep the name.

"I respect the opinions of those who disagree. I want them to know that I do hear them, and I will continue to listen and learn. But we cannot ignore our 81-year history, or the strong feelings of most of our fans as well as African-Americans throughout the country. After 81 years, the team name 'Niggers' continues to hold the memories and meaning of where we came from, who we are, and who we want to be in the years to come. We are Niggers Nation ... and we owe it to our fans and coaches and players, past and present, to preserve that heritage."

In a survey, respondents were asked to suggest appropriate name-changes.  Popular entries included "New Jersey Niggas," "New Jersey Shores," and "New Jersey Sucks".  

Whitey has not yet made a statement concerning the suggestions.

Who the Fuck Still Reads The Raging Hobbit?

Wow, it's my first time logging into The Raging Hobbit since, well, March 2012.  Ok, that's not too bad.  I've left behind a legacy of broken promises.  Sunday rants?  Yeah, didn't do that.  Annual Christmas rant?  Yeah, didn't do that.  Updating the blog at all in any way?  Pshhh.  I feel like I should apologize or something, but the thing is...

Nobody fucking reads this blog.

Who am I again?  Rant?  That's my pseudonym?  Who's the other guy again?  I'm not even sure if he remembers the password.  It took me a few tries to get it right.

I feel like I'm blogging at a brick wall.

Reflection time.  I'm looking at my old blog posts.  Shitty here, shitty there. Interesting here, funny there, shitty there.  As a year-older version of myself a year ago, this blog seems like a mixed bag, a lot of hit and miss topics, a lot of beating daed horses.  Some quality content.  Not much though.  Anyway, that's my critique of my own blog.  Maybe in a few years I'll do it again.

Holy shit, 23 followers.  That's about as many people as you can fit in my attic, if you really pack them tight.  It's a fair amount of people for such a mediocre blog, I guess.  But how many of them actually read the blog?  Who are they?  How did they find out about us?  I seem to remember our readers being mostly people I know personally, a few randoms, and a bunch of asians.  Remember the  2011 asian invasion?  Of course you don't- you don't read this blog.  In fact, you aren't even reading this right now.

What is the point of this post?  Why am I taking my time to write to people who aren't going to read this?  Am I trying to reboot the blog?  Of course not, I don't have any fucking time to write this blog.  Maybe I'll just turn it into a watered-down, simplified version of what it was before.

Why is there a tiger with Down Syndrome attached to this post?  is it because I always attach picture to my posts, even if its totally unnecessary?  

I used to make money from this blog?  Holy shit, I just remembered that.  That explains the shitty google ads on the side.

Wait, where are the ads?  Did my adsense account get shut down because my blog sucked too much?  Or was it because out of the zero readers we have, zero of them clicked on the ads?

Fuck, I have to fix that.  I think I actually made money from this once.

-rant  (is that how I do it?)

Shitting on Hitler

God damn it.  Seriously, whats offensive about a picture of Hitler?  Its not like I wrote "THIS GUY IS GREAT AND I SUPPORT HIM IN HIS JEW POLICIES".  Let me tell you what I did.  I posted a picture to a page with over 300,000 members, "Most Beautiful Teen Contest".  Its where fat ugly chicks post pictures of themselves from crazy angles and use painful "photo editing" to try to get likes from  sweaty horny arab boys.  The "most liked" picture is the "winner", although the admins of the page obviously have no fucking clue how to find out which picture has the most likes, and are just sitting back on their chairs with some popcorn watching the hell-hole they've created.  Anyway, I posted this picture of Adolph Hitler and wrote as a caption "I'm very shy plz be nice <3", a choice of words commonly seen on this page.  While the average picture got around 8 likes, this one got 43.  It also resulted in brilliant Hitler puns in the common section.  Facebook thought it necessary to take it down, as a violation of their shitty statements of rights and responsibilities.

What is offensive about this picture?  It is a picture of a person.  I challenge you to name ANY other person or figure I could have posted to facebook and would get removed.  Right, there are none.  But there ARE bad people.  The reason that only Hitler would get removed is because people associate Hitler with everything offensive and bad.  He's not even like a person anymore, he's like a symbol of evil that people are allowed to rage about, even if the picture used has nothing to do with the Holocaust.  Fuck that.  I can post pictures of Hitler if I want to.  Nothing offensive about that.  Hell, I could have even gone with Joseph Kony and not get removed.  And you know how people currently feel about Joseph Kony...

TL;DR Pictures of Hitler aren't offensive.  If you're that sensitive then go fuck yourself.

Printers and Forums

Fuck printers.  And fuck Mac forums.


Printers never seem to work completely correctly. Theres always some fucking error message. And there seems to be no easy solution to any printer problem. Whenever theres something wrong with my printer, I always just have to wait until it fixes itself. Nothing I have ever done has fixed a printer problem. I can fix all kinds of shit, but when it comes to printers, I don't even know where to start. On my mac, all it says is that it can't identify the problem. And on the printer, it can't even tell that my computer is trying to print something. There are like 5 buttons on my printer, and none of them seem to solve any problems. On my mac, the only buttons on the print window are "hold", "delete", and "job info". Job info just says "Can't print." No fucking shit. There needs to be a "Why won't it fucking print" button.

And FUCK Mac forums or any forum thats supposed to solve shit. Whenever I look up a computer related problem, it ALWAYS leads to one of these forums. I know they won't be helpful, but I always end up clicking them anyway. This is what I see.

Original poster says something like- "OK guys, I am a total n00b at printer/computer issues (at this point, my mind goes- 'yes! me too!'). My problem is that [insert my same exact problem here]. (At this point, my mind goes, "yes! he has the same problem and he is also a computer retard! jackpot!"). So I tried configuring the 28164 trifecta ethernet router HTML terminal control 7086 version install Rapety 5.001...."

Ok, stop there. You said you were a "computer n00b". You obviously know a ton of shit about computers, but you know slightly less than the people who know the most about computers, so you say you are a "noob" just to be a prick. Here are the answers I always end up getting:

Answerer 1- "I am having the same exact problem on my Dell Inspirion F5 Rapety Roethlisberger! Someone please answer!"

Wow, thanks. Someone else has the same problem.

Answerer 2-"I am experiencing these troubles on my HP Dickmunch 5.498097 Hitlerjizz."

Fuck you. I don't need to know who else has this problem.

Answerer 3-"i am also having this same problem. Anyone have an answer?"

FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Scroll...scroll...scroll..scroll...

Answerer 280356932- "Configure the F98075 Hardon control panel terminal to 9017324 airplane asshole 26508 and then reset your hurrghghf and delete your hitlers."

Original Poster-"That didn't work"

I have given up. I am going to sit in this fucking room next to my printer until it finally prints my shit.

Horrible time for my printer to fail.

Just horrible.

I'm Getting Worried.

Facebook is the main source of my rage.  Those are only a few examples.

...Rant

Halloween Rescheduled Due To Some Snow And Fallen Trees.

"The town of Montclair, New Jersey has rescheduled Halloween festivities from October 31st to Friday, November 4th, due to inclement weather.  We have also moved this year's Christmas to NEXT year, and New Years is now on the third day of the year instead of the first."

But seriously.  My town rescheduled Halloween.  Heres what happened.

Friday, October 28th- Apparently its going to snow a little on Saturday, probably won't stick.  Cancel outdoor plans for tomorrow.

Saturday, October 29th- 

10:30 AM- its snowing a little, but not sticking.  Time to drive 39 miles to Green Brook NJ to get my airsoft gun fixed (at the time, this was very important).  

11:20 AM- Airsoft gun is fixed, its not snowing a little harder.  No biggie.

11:40 AM- HOREY SHIT FUCK.  Falling trees everywhere.  Cars skidding off roads.  Fucking branches faling on highway.  Snow is assraping every vehicle on the road.  Zombies attacking fucking neighborhood.  Where's the fucking army?

12:00 AM ish- How the fuck am I going to make it home alive?  Why did I have to go get my airsoft gun fixed today?  Why are the meteorologists so fucking retarded?  How could no one predict this shitstorm of snow and evil?  My car is almost out of gas, but every gas station is closed because they are out of power/ overrun by zombies.

12:20 AM-  Yes!  This gas station is open! (Waits behind 5 million cars to get gas).  (Fights off some zombies)

1:00 AM-  Holy shit, we are skidding off the road.  Fuck.  Fuck. We are about to hit that car.  Fuck.  Holy shit, its a fucking apocalypse.  Jesus fucking christ, where is everyones head?  Fuck!  Fuck!

2:00 AM-  Finally Home.  No power or internet.  Fuckshit.

Sunday, October 30th-  Still no power or internet.  Snow is melting.  Sanity being restored.

Monday, October 31st-  Snow almost all melted.  Trees being picked up, town is taking care of electrical problems.  Fuck yes, they cancelled school.  Halloweens going to be awesome.  Wait, they postponed it to Friday?  What is this shit?  

So thats basically what happened that weekend.  After an apocalypse on saturday, Montclair made an epic comeback and everything was fine by Monday.  But they still deemed it necessary to postpone Halloween.  At first I thought, "Well how could they do this?  Thats ridiculous!  No one will listen to that!"  But people actually bought this, and there were barely any trick or treaters on Halloween.  Way to kill a holiday completely, Montclair.  Sure, some kid might step on a live wire and electrocute his balls off, but thats all part of the festivities!  Adds to the excitement and thrill of halloween!  Avoiding falling trees and live wires makes Halloween and epic obstacle course of death and fun!  Why ruin that, Montclair!  This kind of storm only happens once in a never!  So after Monday, I thought, well, ok, maybe people will still show up on Friday.  But no one did, because thats retarded.  Way to go, Montclair.  I'll have to wait until NEXT year to chase little kids with chainsaws. 

Doosh Fagit!

Remember how in like 6th grade, when everyone was learning new insults, but no one ever knew how to spell them?  I was never like that.  I only used insults I knew how to spell, which I guess explains why I always called people shits and fucks.  I always looked up the spelling of the insult before I used it, but after looking up things like "douche", and "chode" on google, I eventually stopped.  Upon realizing that most insults I couldn't spell were usually another word for penis, I stopped googling insults I heard at school.  So I was never one of those annoying 11 year olds who would go on the facebook account they yelled at their mom to make them, get into some argument about trucks or videogames or some stupid shit, and say things like "doosh fagit!  fuk urself, bich!  u are gay and a faget!".

Most people who were like that in sixth grade are now those types of kids who just sit and corners and masturbate all day, whereas people like me, who chose their insults carefully, are better off.

One thing I always feared about this blog is that stupid fucking middle schoolers like that would become my most popular demographic, and all my readers would be like "u fagget, raging hobet is awesum!", so I'm just going to make this clear right now.

If you..

1.  Scream at your parents to buy you videogames
2.  Laugh at stupid fucking youtube videos
3.  Have a rolling backpack
4.  Are a stupid fucking little shithead douche embryo

..stay the fuck away from my blog.

thanks.

...Rant

Movies of 2011

Why don't people go out to the movies anymore?  You'd think with the better special effects, epic sequels, absence of DVD stores and Netflix shitting fiery blocks of sand on everyone on the planet (including themselves), MORE people would be going to the movies.  Wrong.  This year has had the lowest movie revenues since 1995 (I think that statistic is correct).  The point is that people didn't really go to the movies this year.  Upon reading the New York Times article, I gathered three points from this.

1.)  More people pirate movies online

2.)  The current shit economy

3.)  People only saw Transformers 3, Captain America, Harry Potter, and Rise of the Apes.

Bullshit, Bullshit, and Bullshit.  

1.)  Nobody pirates movies while they are in theaters unless they want to watch a movie that looks like a dirty basement porno.

2.)  People would rather see Ceaser beat up Draco Malfoy than worry about losing 12 dollars.

3.) This isn't the first time three huge blockbusters have come out in one year.  Plus, not that many people saw Rise of the Apes.

I have yet to think of better reasons as to why people didn't watch movies this year.  I think I'm going to have to go with the fact that 90% of this years movies looked really fucking stupid.  ..like REALLY fucking stupid.  Lets see..

X-Men: First Class- FUCK YEAH X-MEN KICKS ASS FUCK EVERYONE YES YES.  Sorry.  I had to express my satisfaction with this movie.  Above average X-Men movie.  Maybe people didn't see it because "Orgins of Hugh Jackman Putting on Weird Expressions"  was a little fuzzy piece of shit.

Green Lantern- "Hey guys, I'm Ryan Reynolds.  Remember me from Van Wilder?  Well now I'm Green Lantern!  Look at my ring, look at my ring!"  I had no desire to see Green Lantern.  Someone told me it was worse than The Wicker Man, which kind of frightened me.

Mr. Popper's Penguins- Because...the trailer showed dancing penguins.  Thats a Happy Feet thing.  Also because no one wants to see anything of Jim Carrey anymore.  I wonder how many times he tried to commit suicide on the set.

Bad Teacher- Because Cameron Diaz is old and disgusting.  I guarantee Bad Teacher would do twice as well if Diaz's character was played by some hot girl.  Plus, all the old guys who like Cameron Diaz probably figured it was a "wait till its on DVD so I can jack off to it without a lawsuit" type of movie.

Cars 2-  Because no.

Winnie The Pooh:  Because the only kids who ever liked Winnie the pooh are now 40.  And all THEIR kids all want to see Cars 2.   

Friends With Benefits:  Because Mila Kunis looks like a wolf?

Cowboys and Aliens:  Hate to state the obvious, but its about cowboys and aliens.

Crazy, Stupid, Love:  I have to say, the only reason I wanted to see this was because they played a Muse song in the trailer.  This is one of those movies that you procrastinate seeing it until its only playing at Shitfuck Theaters in West Bullshit, Nevada.  Its a DVD movie.

The Smurfs:  Because we learned our lesson from "Alvin and the Chipmunks"

See?  This years movies sucked!  We need better movie ideas, because even with our FX and 3D awesome shit, we can't think of a good fucking idea.  Here are some of mine..

Rant's Movie Ideas

1.  Bug-Eyed Alien.  Maybe the name could be less retarded, but a movie where aliens infiltrate seattle and a group of people make their home into a safe-house, defending from aliens and protecting themselves in survival mode.  Sounds awesome right?  I am making this movie.  End of story.

2.  Pencilneck 4.  There will be no Pencilneck 1 through 3.  Only 4.

3.  SuperChetan vs. ThunderJack.  This.  Movie.  Must.  Exist.  (For all you folks out there, its a comic I write.)

4.  Helmet-Man!  Yes, the exclamation point is included in the title.  This movie promotes safety!  Yayy!!

5.  Zombies vs. Vampires-  Sounds awful, but think about it...  "Zombies vs. Vampires- pick a side, or be dead!"  All it needs is a good director and someone who can bang out dozens of terrifically cheesy lines.

6.  Where's Waldo- The Movie-  A man in a striped suit is a fugitive who is constantly being tracked by the government.  However no one can find him.  Because he is Waldo.

7.  Madea Dies and Never Makes Another Movie Ever-  The demographic is white people.

8.  Astronaut Cowboy Leprechaun- This movie will have 13 sequels.

See, Hollywood needs more people like me.  No wonder no one saw movies this year.  Would you rather see "I Don't Know How She Does It", or "Zombies vs. Vampires 3- Sharks are Involved"?

...Rant

The Plus Conundrum

      Why, Google? Why do you toy with us? Why do you make us dream things we can never have? "A social networking site... made by GOOGLE?! That's fantastic! Everyone will love it!" is what went through the mind of a naive young boy at the idea of Goolge+. It was never possible, Google. I'm so sorry. You lead me to believe something that could... never be...

      If you told me you just invented "Google Flight" I'd be dead by now. The NYPD would'vee found me washed up on Coney Island. (Synopsis: I jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge.)
     Google... I have to say it. But with all the duckfacers, erasers, deleters, commenters, smokers, jokers, stalkers, and photographers, with all the replies, snides, denies,  lies, and pi (days), and birthdays, with the 'hey bros' and the 'y'all's hos' and the 'mofo!'s and the 'you know!'s, and with the 'your so pretty!' and the 'zomg!'s and the all people that use Facebook in so many, many ways... you, Google+, just can't stay.
Rhyming is fun.
Google+ is done.
Also, dead in the hearts of millions.

P.S. Google+Nobody≠Good

-rage

Important Questions

Usually I complain about things in a relatively comedic way.  Today, I'm just going to spill out a bunch of questions, funny or unfunny.  These questions come straight from my heart.

-Why is it called "taking a shit",  when thats entirely not what you're doing?  Wouldn't it be called "leaving a shit"?  This ties with the whole blowjob suckjob thing.
-When religious people pray, how does their god know when to listen?  Does he only listen when you're praying?  How can he distinguish a prayer?  Wouldn't he get a ton of false alarms when you say things like "oh my god", or "good god"?  
-Why is there always some kind of huge, mind blowing car/mattress sale going on?
- Why are the people in commercials so clean/loud/bright/fucking annoying?
-Why is Rice-a-Roni the "San Francisco Treat", if its located in Chicago?  What makes it "San Francisco"?
-If churches don't need to pay property taxes, why doesn't everybody make their house into a church?
 -What if your waiter accidentally drooled on your food on the way to your table?  Would he bring it back to the chef, saying "sorry, I drooled on this"?  Wouldn't he avoid the embarrassing situation and give you the food anyway?  I sure would.  I wonder how many times my my food has been accidentally defaced by my waiter.

Think about these.  Answer them if you can.

..rant

Raging Hobbit Growth II- Raging Hobbit Slogan

So, after redesigning the Raging Hobbit header for the trillionth time, I decided that we needed a slogan.  Something short and simple.  Like "I'm lovin' it", or "think outside the bun".  Originally, our slogan was "where the conversation ends", which I thought was pretty good, but not enough people got that it was a play on the New York Times's slogan, "where the conversation begins", so it came of as douchey and pretentious.  Here are a few I came up with off the top of my head.  Your recommendation does not have to be on this list.

"Read our blog or else you're an asshole"
"Official blog of fuck everything"
"Seriously, fuck you."
"We're better than sex"
"We complain so that you don't have to"

I'm kinda leaning towards the last one. I'm trying not to pick a slogan that advertising our blog and being a whiny bunch of assholes posting about things we hate all the time, because we aren't.  Only most of the time.  A really shitty slogan drives people away from the site, but I've gotta say, if I run into a website that has a slogan like "You are a fucking piece of shit", it kinda makes me want to keep reading.  Its that gripping language.  But I'd rather go for something more subtle.  Like "You're probably a fucking piece of shit, but I still want you to read my blog".  Actually, that sounds a lot less subtle than the first one.  See, this is why I need your help!  I can't do this on my own!  The only dilemma that I am currently having is that I'm striving to get more readers, but I don't have any readers to help me find out how to get more readers!  Thats why if YOU, yes you, reading this post, leave a little comment or note as to a great slogan, that would help me out an awful lot!  Where are you, all you stumblers? Come on, you omeggling asians!  Are you still there, or did you all unsubscribe after my last post?  Fire Cat.


...rant

Raging Hobbit Growth

This blog is totally cool and stuff.  The problem is that no one fucking reads our blog.  This occured to me a few weeks ago, when I was designing the template and stuff for this website.  (See that gleaming Raging Hobbit logo up top?  Yeah, that was me. Fuck everyone).  And then there was the App!  The almost-possible Raging Hobbit App!  The one where I designed an app icon, a splash screen, and a cool header, and spent 4 hours putting it on a website that advertised as being "free".  Yeah, but it was 100 dollars.  A year.  Fuck.  Anyway, I looked at all my design shit and I decided that this blog had too much potential to only be read by like 6 assholes who only read it when I tell them to.

So heres what I did.

1.  I spammed the shit out of Omegle with Raging Hobbits name everywhere
2.  I submitted the blog to StumbleUpon.
3.  I sent 20+ angry fuming emails to that fucking App website.

The effects

1.  One asian girl on Omegle told all her asian friends about the site.  Our blog traffic is now 60% yellow.  I hurried back and frantically deleted every asian joke from every Raging Hobbit post.
2. We got many views and likes on Stumbleupon.  One hot girl is now following our blog.
3.  I got a reply message saying "Sorry, your email has been forwarded to an unchecked inbox because we are dedicated cunts."

So I like making lists.  After ranting about some random thing, Teddy told me yesterday to just one day spew out every single thing I hate.  I told him that would take more than one day. Instead of doing that, I'm going to make a list of the first few things that come to mind when I hear "Things Rant Hates".  Here I go.

Rant's "You Go To Hell!" List.

1.  People who walk around with metal detectors.
2.  People who debate about whether cats or dogs are better.
3.  People who jack off on Omegle.
4.  People who use Omegle.
5.  People who can't rip duct tape.
6.  People who spell god "G-d"  because they are snobby shitheaded religious fucks.
6.  People who refer to themselves as "hippies".
7.  People who bring up porn/masturbation as a normal topic of conversation.
8.  People who won't shut the fuck up and let me think.
9.  People who walk around saying facts like "Satan is actually an angel!!"  and think they're cool shit.
10.  People who run at me carrying metal serrated dildos.
11.  Anyone with more than three eyes.
12.  When an Indian kid walks up to me and starts to suck my blood.

There you go.  The first 12 things I think of when I think of things I hate.  An interesting concept.  If we had any readers at all, I'd ask you to make your own hate list below, but no one reads this blog, except for some asians.  U rikEy rice???


...rant

Michael Swordout

   
    God! This guy! Micheal Swordout! He is totally da bomb! I don't know how I could live without Micheal Swordout. Mike's just so awesome. I remember once, I was out drinking, because I am 21 years of age. And Mike was all like "WASSUP!" And we were all like, "NO WAY! MIKEY!!" And we bro hugged until 4:00am, when we were escorted out by the people who owned the bar.
     Mike and I, right, ya know, right. We had the same job, right? Ya know. Anyway, our boss was all like, "Rage and Mr. Swordout! Come into my office!" and we totally did, right. I know. And he was all pissed and shit. And he said, "Did you eat company food? Myah! I'm an asshole!" (I should mention I worked at Burger King.) And I was all like, "No way, bro!" (I totally did though) and our Boss was all like, "You're fired! I like dick in my ass! Myah!!!" And Mikey essploaded all over our Bossman! He was all like, "Fuck you, Bossman! I don't even know your name, bro! Fuck you! I had sex wid your wife!!" And I was like, "OOOOHHHH SHIT!!!" Ya know I mean? And the bossman was all like... shocked and shit. And Mikey beat him up with his computer. He bleed a lot. I was like... covered in the Bossman's blood. Then Mikey made me run away and we burned his house down and some shit. Mikey's a badass. Like toats.
    Another time I was baking cookies with Mikey, and it was really awkward because we had nothing to talk about.
    All of Mikey's friends are either stupid or angstsacks.
    BUT MIKEY!!! The SWORDMAN'S DA BOOOOOOMMMB!!!! He's sooo cool! If I could legally marry him, I would. If I could somehow get impregnated me, I would let him do it, at the most 14 times... maybe 16. I would make a family with him. And Live in a Cape Cod on Long Island. And life would be good. And the days would be long. We would waste them together. We would teach our kids how to bike and fish and—HEY! Whatchyu lookin' at, nigga!!?? I diden mean none dat, nigga! I'm not a fag, nigga! Mikey's just da shit. Man. Ya know I mean.

...rage

Radiohead and Shit

If theres anything I really hate about iTunes, its the reviews.  People who give one star because their download didn't work correctly.  People who give 5 stars because they like one song on the whole album.  People who give one star to be a contrarian.  People who give 5 stars because they are pretentious.  The whole system is fucked up.  I was browsing through Radiohead albums on iTunes, and i noticed that Pablo Honey (highly regarded as Radiohead's best album), had only 4 stars, compared to the others, which usually have 4 and a half or 5.  And heres why.  Scrolling down to the negative reviews, every single one said how the clean version of Creep (Radiohead's most popular song) was "album only".  Everyone was putting one star saying "i want to buy the clean version for my children because they like the song and it says fuck once in it and i cant let that happen because they're going to start blowing up buildings fuckfuckfuck".   First of all, Pablo Honey was originally not released with a clean version.  Be lucky you even have one.  Its a BONUS track guys.  Pablo Honey appears on itunes exactly as it does normally. except they ADDED a song, so they can do whatever the fuck they want with it.  They even let you buy the normal creep all buy itself!  Just like every other song!  Cover your kids ears when the guy says fuck.  Second, that isn't even a reason to give something one star!  Because obviously you like the album!  What good does giving one star do?  The star rating system relates to the album itself, not how itunes chooses to sell the album.  "Oh, look, itunes misspelled "misery" in Maroon 5's new album.  ONE STAR!"  "On the white stripes's debut album, itunes wrote "jimmy the explorer" instead of "jimmy the exploder".  ONE STAR!"  Fuck you.  Itunes isn't going to say "wow, this guy gave Pablo Honey one star, guess we better make clean creep available as a single!  Pablo Honey is a good album.  Just buy all of it, then you get your pussy version of creep.  I haven't even asked yet why people want creep to be clean?  It was written with the word "fuck" in it, deal with it.  Buy your kids some Justin Bieber, then you don't need to cry about when theres a bad word in a song.  Your kid probably hears the word "fuck" a lot.   Just explain to them why it was OK for them to say "fuck" in that instance.  OR just don't buy them the song, if  you're that much of a helicopter parent.  Just because Radiohead says a bad word, they aren't going to become some sort of deviant and start fucking the dog.

...rant

Ultimate Rant Time

Random Musings

-Why don't emo/scene kids just kill themselves? that way, both of us would be happy.  Does that not make perfect sense?
-Why is it called a "blow-job" when there is no blowing involved?  It should be called a "suckjob".  Actually, its not a job, because they don't get paid (usually).  It should just be called a suck.  "Dianne gave me a suck last night."  Sounds much better.

-Facebook should have a button next to "poke" that just blows the persons head up.

-Why do I keep having bizarre dreams about liz katriel?  I'm starting to get worried.

-Whenever i'm in montana, i keep seeing signs that say "the testicle festival is coming". anyone care to explain what the fuck that is?

-If you look at a picture of someone long enough, they look stupid.  Ikidyounot.

-If i were a fireman, i could just beat the shit out of people and no one would mind.

-Movies like "piranha 3D and "shark night" really make me wonder.. if I made a movie called "people fuck and die in 3D", how many people would see it? Did I just come up with a really good idea?

-When people are put to death, they should be made into burgers. Precious meat is going to waste.  Actually, everyone who dies should be made into a burger.

-There should be a skyscraper with a giant slide attached to it. and a diving board.

-Theres nothing worse than listening to someone else playing bad music and try to explain why you should like it

-Fuck "texarkana". if i hear one more country song that says something like "hrmm ghmm goin down to texarkana", I'm going punch someone in the lip.

-Whenever i see rainbows, the colors aren't in the correct order. and I always had to remember that stupid color order. fuck rainbows. rainbows eat shit.

-"Paul McCartney is dead". no he isn't, fuck you.

Demographics

-Child leashes- parents who make their children shit in litterboxes.

-Energy drinks- people who like to spend money and think they're getting energy.

-Blu-ray- people who think they're better than everyone else.

-Music genres ending in 'core'- people who pretend to want to kill themselves.

-The "Friends with Benefits" movie- people who weren't satisfied with "No Strings Attached"

-Zune- fuckfaces and mete.

Conversations that never seem to take place

Jack- "Bob is such an honest person.  He never says mean or dirty things."

Dianne- "Bob is 12 months old"

Jack- "Yeah I know, he's a great guy."

Dianne- "I just finished burying John.  I had to chloroform him first.  Help me wash this dirt off my clothes."

Jack- " Make sure the dogs don't dig him up again."

Jack- "Dianne, you're going to give me a blow job right now.  Then you're going to take me to Hooters and say nothing as I watch sports and stare at other women."

Dianne- "Ok, I'll go get my purse."

Dianne- "Jack, make sure you're in the building this time when the bomb on your chest goes off"

Jack- "Dianne, don't kill that Australian Ghost Catshark.  Its endangered." 

Dianne- "But Jack, we're almost out of Dinosaur!"

Jack- "Make sure they shoot you in the neck this time, not the stomach."

Dianne- "Last time they shot me in the stomach."

Things people seem to think I care about

-Economy plus- no one gives two shits about five extra inches of legroom. that only lets be extend my knees about 12 degrees more. what i need is more space to recline my seat.

-Movies in HD- i can barely tell the difference. itunes charges you 5 extra dollars to see Hermionie's eyebrow hairs better.

-More minutes for your phone- according to verizon, ive used about 1/19th of the minutes I have. I dont like talking to people on the phone. I have a shit ton of minutes, I dont need any more. so stop with the annoying commercials with the families and the clocks. fuck minutes, I don't give a shit.

-A flashlight with my snuggie- I don't want a flashlight.  I don't even want a snuggie.  Half the commercial is about the flashlight.

3 things I don't want my dentist to say while he is pulling my tooth.

-"we're out of anesthetic, you're just gonna have to tough this one out"

-"after this procedure, you may not eat or drink for 48 hours"

-"i'm going to tie you up and rape you"

 Why do people think they can play harmonica? every time someone sees a harmonica, they pick it up and expect themselves to play an actual tune. harmonica is not as easy as it looks. I only know one person who can play harmonica. (bob dylan). Same with juggling. Everyone says 'oh, i can juggle a little', and then they throw a bunch of balls in the air and drop them. Same with double-jointedness. Everyone overuses the phrase "double jointed". just because you can bend your thumb back a little further than some people, you aren't double jointed. fuck you. You cannot play harmonica, you cannot juggle, and you are not double jointed.

My Great Ideas

A skyscraper with a slide on it.  I’m not backing down on that one.

A Water-Bike.  I've even drawn a sketch of it.

Turning the Hearst Castle into a hotel.

My Ideas That Went to Shit

Psalm trees.  Trees that grow bibles.

Sheryl Crows- bird shaped speakers that play "Soak up the Sun" and "If it Makes you Happy"

A new politically correct term for African Americans- "Blackheads"

Turning Alcatraz into a hotel.

Why does everyone say that they knew about a song before it was popular, and they think I care? A lot of the time they're just being pretentious. take Fireflies by owl city. Every time i play that song, someone says "i knew that song before it was popular". I know at least 15 people who said this. just how many people can know a song before its popular? by definition, not that many. On the facebook page "I knew that song before it was popular", the wall is ridden with people saying "fireflies by owl city". no. go back to your corner and masturbate.

I shit on the amazing spiderman. why remake a movie that came out only 10 years ago? and with worse/more ugly actors? Charlie sheen's dad? What the fuck? No sam raimi? What the fuck x2? The trailer sucks, too. When spiderman is running across the buildings, it looks like a 16-bit video game. Spiderman is gay, too. A lot of superheroes suck.  Catwoman is annoying. Superman is lame, and Captain America is too old/retro. Hulk is ugly. I bet i can come up with a bunch of with a bunch of cool superheroes. Razor-man. Shark-man. Safety-man (maybe not).

I personally think there aren't enough movies where really famous celebrities die. They always live, or die honorably. I want to see Ashton Kutcher go through a meat grinder. Or Christina Applegate getting her head twisted off. Or Mel Gibson running into a building and blowing himself up. Then we can watch the celebrities die, and pretend its real. It would be fun! It would be even better if they actually killed the celebrities on the set. 'Ok Ashton! just jump into the spinning blades, its just a prop, don't worry!' That way we would have really high quality footage. its like a plane crash at an air show. You get the best quality footage. There should really be more snuff films. Shot in 3D. "Macaulay Culkin Actually Dies in 3D".

Fuck This!

fuck stuffed crust

fuck bad sunscreen

fuck food that tastes like sunscreen

fuck covers of pink floyd songs

fuck whole grain food

fuck the MPAA

fuck automatic toilets

fuck Motley Crue

fuck people who don't like steely dan.

fuck service berries

fuck bad sunflower seeds

fuck stupid little whores in malls.

fuck Arthur Leigh Allen.

fuck "refrigerate after opening".  I fucking hate cold salsa.  Keep it in the pantry.

Things I actually like/can tolerate

Superhero movie reboots

Gay people who don't act really really gay

songs with faded endings

when i sit next to a hot girl on an airplane

when i get lots of money.

vaginas.

Itunes Top Charts as of June 5th 2011

1. Moves like Jagger- Maroon 5. a few things to say about this song. one, its not very good. People are only buying it because its a new M5 song, which leads me to the next thing, what the fuck is this Hands All Over re-release? Ive had this album for over a year now, why did itunes release it again? the only thing thats different is that they added moves like jagger and misspelled "misery".

2. Party Rock Anthem- LMFAO. this band is straight up shit. so is this song. Its not even catchy, or anything...in fact, it is incredibly annoying. It kind of sounds like they're making it up as they sing it.

3. Lighters (feat. Bruno Mars)- Bad Meets Evil. As soon as i previewed the song, i heard Eminems voice and instantly knew why it was on this list. Add eminem to anything and get money. You could actually compose thats a guy shitting into a mic, and at the end have eminem say "fuck", and your song will end up in the top three spots on itunes.

4. Pumped up Kicks- Foster the People. In the spring, i heard this song in so cal on an unknown station, and i thought it was ok so i downloaded it. on itunes, it had no reviews and pretty much looked liked no one had bought the song, ever. yes, i knew this song long before it was popular, but dont go calling me a hypocrite; if anyone else ever says the same about this song, i will fight them to the death. i was the first person to ever buy this song on itunes. fuck you.

5. Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)- Katy Perry. this song sucks, fuck katy perry. am i the only one who remembers when katy perry made funny/quirky songs? i liked that.

6. How to Love- Lil Wayne. Holy shit! a lil wayne song where he doesn't say "pussy", "fuck", "nigga", and doesn't laugh weirdly! Well, this song is ok.

7. Tonight Tonight- Hot Chelle Rae. When i say the name of the band, i assumed it was a mexican rapper and i previewed it expecting something like 'lean like a cholo'. instead what i got was my macbook actually taking a huge shit. it was the first time that ever happened. It just sounded way, way, too white. even for me. The lyrics are fucking stupid. It kind of sounds like lyrics you were making up to make fun of a song. actual lyrics- "la, la, la, whatever, la, la, la". gAy!!

8. Super Bass- Nicki Minaj. I have complained about Nicki Minaj since the land before time. Have you seen her ass? does she go to sports authority, buy two basketballs and put them down her pants? did she get them surgically attached? and her song just good "boomadoom doom supah bass!". shes also incredibly ugly.

9. I Wanna Go- Britney Spears. this song should be higher on the list. im ashamed to admit it, but i have a special spot for britney spears music. Its more catchy and smart than other pop songs. She's also incredibly hot. when she has hair.

10. Give Me Everything (feat. Ne-yo, Afrojack & Nayer)- Pitbull. for a second, i thought pitbull name was actually "Feat. Pitbull". i had no idea he made his own songs. This one is ok, when is comparison to other pop songs. Maybe its just because theres a guy in the song named "Afrojack". thats a cool name. I might name one of of my kids afrojack.

You may be wondering (but probably not) why the picture is of Bane from the Dark Knight Rises. Its because that movie is going to kick fucking ass.

...Rant

Pilgrims

A couple things that PISS ME OFF about both Black Friday and Thanksgiving. First off, never use say "Black Friday" to a black person. I mistakenly did this last week. There is no alternative to the name "black friday", so i just try not to bring it up. Also, if theres one group of people that I hate more than anime fans, its crazed shoppers. (and jehova's witnesses). You see, these sad little people called shoppers are like a huge stampede of elephants. They don't care about any damn thing except them and the thing they are buying. Nothing can stop them. NOTHING! Face it shoppers, within one week of having whatever you bought, you aren't excited over it anymore. Shoppers, you suck! Moving on to Thanksgiving. When you were little, your class had to cut out little cliché Thanksgiving pictures, am I right? Why are the turkeys always alive and happy? Thanksgiving isn't a holiday that glamorizes happy turkeys, its a holiday where we EAT the turkeys! When have you actually seen a live turkey on Thanksgiving? Speaking of things you NEVER SEE on Thanksgiving, what the hell is that huge cone thing with the vegetables in it??? WHAT IS IT? Its has completely infested all Thanksgiving clip art, we even had to cut them out as little kids, yet it is a mystery as to what the hell it is! Me and my dad are still debating about whether its a woven thing, some sort of edible cone, or a huge hallowed out gourd. To clear this up, no one cares about "giving thanks", huge cones full of pumpkins, or "celebration and history". It is also NOT about pilgrims. They suck! They had a horrible sense of style! Pilgrim outfits left a huge dent in the world of fashion. Let me tell you what 21st century Thanksgiving is like. It is about having friends and family over and cooking, eating, and washing dishes. I take about 10 minutes to finish my food. My family takes about an hour at a formal meal, and as for thanksgiving, up to 4 and a half hours. I timed it last year. And its impolite to fall asleep at the dinner table, so I have no choice but to listen to the conversation. Fuck thanksgiving.

...Rant

Why Anime Fans Suck.

Ok, Anime is not THAT bad, but please do not put a cartoon japanese lady with a humungous awkward dress as your profile picture. Why are people so obsessed with it? I always think that anime fans are all closeted psychopaths, because there is always just something thats off about these people. Its like they are a sub-category of humans. And why do anime fans always have a horrible sense of style? Oh, look at this asian drawing of a woman with a dress that has a 9 foot radius, maybe i should come to school and make myself look like a complete retard! And why is it so popular in anime culture to not be completely human? Look at anime, and you will likely see a relatively normal asian with huge pink ears, a tail, or maybe fangs! Anime people have extremely long hair, most are albino, and the guys all look like douchebags. Find me one anime guy that you can look at an honestly say "wow, this guy doesn't look like a complete tool!". Anime eyes are so enormous that they take of 70% of the skull. And there is always some weird light reflecting from their eyes, and they always look so innocent and asian. But the guys don't look asian at all! Whats with that? I wouldn't call anime a high form of art in any respect. Why is child prostitution so common in anime? Anime porn takes creepy to completely frightening. My anime tolerance goes like this

1. If you draw anime, I guess it could look impressive.

2. If you read it on occasion, I can stand being around you.

3. If you read it obsessively, I dislike you.

4. If you put it as your profile picture, I hate you.

5. If you tag yourself as the girl in the picture, I am afraid of you.

6. If you have a bookshelf with over 40% anime, and/or have a photo album on facebook titles something like "anime", I will try to stay as far away as possible.

7. If you talk to me about anime, I call the cops.

Among the things that irritate me are

1. Anime (of course)

2. Japanese collectibles

3. Modern Art

4. People who like modern art.

5. Creepy smiles

6. Baby Ruths

7. Lacrosse

8. Tea Party protesters

9. Lil Waynes laugh

10. Microsoft

11. The smell of green olives

12. Pickles

13. People who are so fat that they buy themselves motorized chairs

14. Catholics..

15. Religion in general. Particularly Catholics.

16. People who smell like coffee and marijuana. (no names mentioned)

Just because it is kind of similar, I decided to add a list of all the little things I enjoy.

1. The smell of airplanes

2. Wind

3. Finding a french fry at the bottom of the bag

4. Lil Orbit's mini-doughnuts

5. When annoying celebrities go to rehab.

Thats about it.

...Rant

What The Hell Happened? (Full Version)

Ok, I was lurking around on Facebook, and Jack messages me, and I immediately thought, oh, he's going to complain about Teddy or talk about homework! But to my surprise, he told me that the Raging Hobbit was DELETED. Now this completely ruins the story because as you are reading this post, you must be thinking "well, Jack is full of shit, and the story is ruined because I know the Raging Hobbit wasn't deleted". But anyway, I go on myself, and sure enough, it said the blog was removed. I immediately think "NICK, THAT HOMO BAG OF WHORE" and I was ready to blow up his house, when I went back, and suddenly I stared into the eyes of Uncle Ruckus and a creepy stuffed head, and I was silently debating on whether is was good, because RH wasn't deleted, or bad, because I didn't get to hurl a tornado of destruction towards Nick. Then I decided to post, because evidently SOME people still read the blog.

Maybe I should make a list of insults that I've heard that don't make sense.

So I'll do that.

Rant's List Of Insults That Don't Make Sense

"Homo" - I guess you could argue that it could mean something along the lines of "HOMOSEXUAL", but still, its actually just a prefix that means "the same".  Prefix insults are bush league.

"Scrub"- Didn't we used to do that to dishes? Its a verb, fucksticks.

"Fucksticks"- Its a dumb insult. I guess it could make sense, but we have enough insults relating to penises.

"BAG OF WHORE"- For some reason, this particular defamation is always used in all caps.

"Sperm Bank"- I don't need to explain why this insult sucks.

"Fuckaroo or Motherfuckeroo"- I guess its fun to say, but it sounds stupid!

"Bag of Douche"- Don't make me kill you. The term is "douchebag"

Yes, I've heard all of these insults being used.  Mostly by the same person.

Now we move on to something different: phrases.

"Shut Your Ass"- Used to replace "shut up". although "shut your ass" means something entirely different than "stop talking".  It actually seems more like something you'd say to your dog who can't stop farting in front of the guests.  "Hey Rufus!  Shut your ass!  It smells like a god damn shit factory in here!"

"What the Shit"- If I was an old irish lady, I would beat people with my handbag every time they said this.  God damn, this one really makes my eye twitch.

"Shit the Fuck!" - I HAVE heard this, usually when someone messes up putting their words together in some way. Not sure if they were trying to put together something creative, or if they tried to say "SHIT!" and "WHAT THE FUCK!" at the same time.  It really makes you sound like a fool, no matter how angry you are.

"Zip Your Face"- ITS ONLY FUNNY IF STEVE CARELL SAYS IT.  Stop trying to quote movie insults that are supposed to be stupid.  This and these fucking Step-Brothers insults.  Stop already.  

-Rant

Rage's Unfinished Posts

I just found these. Most were written early this year. -Rant

The fallowing is truly my most shallow excuse for remaining a Catholic:


ATHEISTS ARE JERKS

I said it once, I'll say it again.

ATHEISTS ARE JERKS

Literally, I am yet to meet an Atheist I could handle. Not one. They all act as a unified force of mean.


Now, I know most of you atheist whom of which read the Raging Hobbit will get offended. (All 2 of you) But that's because you're a jerk who can't take a joke! Anyway, Back to the sad truth about the atheists. I know, I know, your not ALL jerks. And you don't really ever act like a jerk, EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO RELIGION!!! You always have to try and convert us happy religious types.

Here's an exact quote from out friend Theo "Woodpusher" Coyne: "Hey, Nick, prove to me God is real!"

Here's the next one.. -Rant

It has come to my attention that the reputation of our happy little town of Montclair is one of purely evil slander. Let me show you:

Verona: White, Rich
Bloomfield: Urban, Poor-ish, Ghetto, Montclair Sr.
Cedar Grove: Pathetic, Funny, The town with the rotting remains of an asylum, (basically the Nick Harras of towns in Essex County.)
Clifton: Rich, Awesome, Friends with everyone
Waine: ...
Montclair: Rich/Poor, White/Ghetto, GAY!!!

No, but actually, Montclair is like... the gayest town within 10 miles. And it breaks my heart. My gay, little, Montclairian heart.

Here's the third. -Rant

Hello and G'day! I decided to write a little more about morons...err...mormons! Once again, in advance, I apologies to the mormons. Actually, I don't. You guys don't have internet access! Hahahahahaha! Take it! Your "Bible" forbids "internets!"

So, I decided to steal one of your "Bibles" from one of your "holy impounds" full of your "wives" as in "daughters."

Mormon list of holidays:

Christmas: The celebration of the birth of Jesus. Did you know that Mary was actually Jesus's daughter?

Easter: The death of Jesus. It's that time of year again! Have a child with your daughter!

Great Papa's birthday: Rejoice! Have a threesome with your daughter!

The best for last, here is another unfinished kitten post. -Rant

Well, I was going to post a link saying "Funny Video," as the most hilarious joke ever, but I was trying to add a scared face picture, and when I Googled "gasp" all that came up was, no, not porn, but kittens; which are nude, therefore kitten porn.

Note Things

This Facebook note situation is getting extreme. The 35 things no one cares about note idea has moved to a whole new demographic- that same crew who changes their middle name to "Lautner" and throws a party every time a new Twilight movie comes out. So this means that not only are they taking up wall space, but I also get notifications for it. Having not much to do, I looked at some of these notes, and to be honest, I wouldn't be able to tell any of them apart. Now, since the Raging Hobbit demographic is not these type of people and chances are they aren't reading this post, I can talk about them all I want. So every one has at least four "facts" about how they love/miss their friends, a fact about how they're friends are so nice to them, 2 facts about Jersey Shore/or Snooki, not only that, but EVERY SINGLE ONE is called something like "so this is 35 facts, right?" or "35 facts, I guess". NO. You do not GUESS, or THINK anything. You do not sound cooler by pretending to not understand the concept, which, incidentally, is incredibly easy. you write 35 things about yourself. And you obviously understood it when you were writing the note, so you don't need to pretend you don't get it anymore. Let me just tell you that when I wrote the post "Penis Crackers" It was made as a joke towards my friends, who were the only ones doing this at the time, and YES, I DID make one, but only 2 other people had done it at the time. So stop giving me crap about it!

So I thought it would be nice to close off with one last note

35 Things About The Raging Hobbit

1. I just realized after having ranted about facebook notes, that The Raging Hobbit spawned from Greg's Facebook Notes.

2. I can call him Greg now because he left Raging Hobbit

3. The month with the most posts was Spetember 2009 (24), followed by April 2010 (21)

4. The month with the least posts were February and June 2010, both with 0

5. The Raging Hobbit started September 2, 2009

6. The post "Rant's Complete List of True Celebrity Rumors And Brief Rant On American Idol" was supposed to be the last Raging Hobbit post.

7. The post "Teen Idols" is the only Raging Hobbit Post not to be posted right after it was written. It was in Raging Hobbit Limbo for about 2 months. The picture was made after.

8. "The Ranta Score" was the longest post to write (over 3 weeks), and is also the longest post to date. [Update, the longest post is now Ultimate Rant Time, but it did not take as long to write..]

9. Rage (Greg) has said he would quit Raging Hobbit 3 times and counting

10. Rant has 92 posts, Rage has had 25.

11. Every single post has a picture.

12. The shortest post to date is "Fat Pirates"

13. The Jack Fields Posts has more pictures than any other post (6).

14. The only posts ever to be removed from Raging Hobbit are "Crappy Fanmail" and Jack's post about mailmen.

15. The post that has been edited the most over time is the first one, "The Raging Hobbit"

16. The Raging Hobbit logo has been changed 4 times.

17. The post with the most comments is "The Longest Post. Ever."

18. Its not the longest post ever.

19. The first post that comes up on google when you search "Raging Hobbit" is "Sunday Morning Rant?"

20. I gave up on sunday morning rants a while back.

21. This blog was originally going to be called "The Angry Midget"

22. "The Angry Midget" was supposed to be Greg.

23. The Facebook page for Raging Hobbit came before the blog.

24. The first follower was Teddy

25. I've had "Eye of the Tiger" on repeat the whole time I've been writing this post.

26. My name was originally going to be "Louis Breckley", not Rant.

27. Greg was going to be "The Angry Midget"

28. "Louis Breckley and The Angry Midget" just sounded too much like a 90's family sit-com.

29. theangrymidget.blogspot.com was taken by some guy who only posted once in 2008, and it was a bunch of jokes he copied and pasted from CollegeHumor.

30. I'm still listening to Eye of the Tiger

31. Longest post name- "I Haven't Posted In A While But I Will Start Posting More Because I finished Standardized Testing And A History Report"

32. Shortest Post Name- "Post 100"

33. Of the many things I complain about, I've never complained about the weather.

34. Technically, only three other people have posted besides me and Greg. (Jack, Corrina, and Rage 9.2.1)

35. IDK!!

...Rant