The Monday Morning Rant

I just...KNEW he would forget. Or maybe he just didn't read my post. Anyway, it's Monday morning, and I just got back from the airport, and a lot of things were not excellent, so I am going to talk about airports and airplanes. Ever noticed the way that some of those airport security people look at you? Its like they think everyone in the airport has a desire to bomb it. These guys scare me mostly because they are giving you the death stare and they have guns. Another thing that annoys me about the airport is the precautions they take to prevent terrorism. No diet coke on the plane? I know that some liquids can be mixed to make bombs, but..really? Do they think some 7 year old american kid is going to mix his Orangina with his Mountain Dew and try to kill everyone on the plane- including himself? The best part is- there has never been a case of a terrorist trying to explode a plane by mixing his beverages. I swear some guy just looked up "101 ways to blow up a plane" and made sure none of them were possible. Well, when you're on the plane, things don't get much better. Food is scarce, unless your the type who can go a couple hours with a tiny cup of water and two or three peanuts. Also, the seats never go back enough, so it is impossible to fall asleep. I've seen some people in my lifetime who were asleep without leaning on anything but I SWEAR they were faking it. The In Flight movie selection is also terrible. OK, so I watched "The Brothers Bloom" and it was terrible. But thats not it, The movie keeps playing without sound when the woman rambles on about how many feet in the air we are, and sometimes she talks painfully slow, and you have this urge to choke somebody. There really isn't much to do on planes, so sometimes I try to do the crossword puzzles that nobody could solve in their lifetime. I hate crossword puzzles so much..Its just, the clues..they are terrible! Some clues are just one word that could have a million different answers, like, BUG. CHINESE. MATINÉE. Also there are clues that end in question marks, and just makes you more confused- like BUG? CHINESE? MATINÉE? I managed to get one clue, however, on this crossword puzzle, although it was rather easy. It went like this- "HOW __ YOU?" Now, you should be able to answer this. I think the guy who makes the crossword puzzle feels bad for the passengers, and lets them have a chance at one. I think I got a couple other three letter words, but I don't remember what the clues were. I'm getting off the plane now, and I am covering my ears and praying. Why? Don't you hate when people say "buh-bye?" I think I read an article once about how flight attendants always say "buh-bye" when you're getting off the plane. There are certain things you always see about flight attendants and pilots, I think they are all clones of each other. Flight attendants are always overly nice, and always say "buh-bye" instead of bye or goodbye, and pilots always have southern accents. I feel like I have mentioned that in one of my earlier posts, but I forget which one. Anyway, I better post this soon, otherwise It won;t be Monday morning anymore.

...RANT

Facebook

I know that I have mentioned Facebook and briefly ranted about it on some of my posts, but since Facebook is a very popular thing nowadays, I think it deserves its own post. There are good and bad things about Facebook, but I'm just going to pick out the bad things because that's just what I do. One bad thing about Facebook is the way it keeps changing. I still think the news feed is out of whack and hard to read. Groups are also stupid, I hate them. Facebook groups are inferior to fan pages, just DEAL with it. Can a group post links and photos to the news feed? Nooo. They have to send Facebook Emails that no one reads. Can a group make statuses and interact with the members? Nooo. They have these little discussion things that no one knows about, and people who start discussions like "LAST POST WINS!" Fan pages are awesome, I just love them. I have a fan page for The Raging Hobbit, which has generated more readers then I could imagine. One thing I ....ok. I just got off the phone with Rage, apparently he is not quitting, he was just trying to be noticed like the poor loser he is. As for the fan mail post, it was written by someone I went to school with that I don't know too well, who hacked Rage's computer. Rage should post soon...ANYWAY, something I wanted to mention that you were probably wondering about is the picture below. I made the unfortunante mistake of posting as my status "LAST COMMENT WINS" like the idiot I am. Well, you think 126 is a big number, there are over 200 now. There should be an option to disable comments and "liking". For example, If I posted something that I didn't want people to like, I should at least be able to remove the like. I can remove comments, but not likes. Remember Marshall Sandoval from the bar mitzvah post? Yea..thats the same guy. NOTE- I fuzzy-wuzzied out my name and picture to keep my identity secret. Another thing about the whole "liking" thing, WHERE IS THAT DISLIKE BUTTON? Once I saw someone with the status "sooo much homework" and 2 people LIKED it, just to show agreement, not liking the mass amounts of homework that day. That is why they need dislike button, because the "like" button is losing it's meaning. One last note, yes, I edited that picture above. Another note, as I notice more flaws with Facebook, I may or may not update this note more.

...RANT

The Next SMR and Loitering Scientologists.

I am going to be away this weekend so I will not be able to complete the Sunday Morning Rant. The thing is, even though the Sunday Morning Rant is my thing, two people write this blog. Now I don't know who writes for Rage anymore, I haven't talked to him in a while. Maybe Rage is still writing. I have no idea who to contact, so I will have hope that they read this post by Sunday morning. AND YOU BETTER MAKE IT GOOD. AND LONG. AND FUNNY. OTHERWISE I CHANGE THE PASSWORD AND LOCK YOU OUT OF THE RAGING HOBBIT WORLD FOREVER. Ok, this isn't really a rant, but I needed to write this. I still have to make it longer...hmm..what should I write. I covered everything about Halloween, no one gives a mushroom about thanksgiving, and Christmas isn't until a while...I've talked about dead flamingos and Nazi lifeguards, I've talked about Mormons and..AH! SCIENTOLOGISTS! Ok so I'm not a jerkface who makes fun of religions, but you can harldy call Scientology a religion. Its like..A Star Trek convention. What religion says that THE GALACTIC LORD XENU came to earth in a spaceship and lined people up next to volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs? I laughed hysterically when I heard about this, harder then when I learned about loitering (a loitering Scientologist, wouldn't that be funny?)..(I just added that to the title). Look at this picture I stole from South Park. What is the first thing that comes to mind? (besides south park). The creation of earth? The beginning of life? Yea.. me neither. This is what DOES come to mind...loitering Xenu, loserology, South Park. Anyway, have a good rest-of-Wednesday.

...RANT

The Dentist's House

Ok, as If that title wasn't scary enough. Kind of reminds me of "The Judges House", but dentists are more scary. Anyway, today I am going to talk about a certain neighbor who happens to be a dentist and decorates his house like crazy every year. You've never seen anything like it. During Halloween, you can't even count how many scary heads he puts up. You can barely see the house, that's how much it is. Well, two years ago, some guy thought it would be a good idea to steal a bunch of his decorations. Now as if that was a total bonehead move itself, he decided to TP and egg the whole house. What a loser. The house ended up having no decorations for Halloween that year, and faithful trick or treaters would just walk up to the door without any scares and just ask for candy. Nobody knows who did it, but you'd think it would be pretty obvious if some random guy had the same decorations as the dentist did every year. What was he thinking anyway? Did he want the decorations? If he put them up, everyone would probably know who he is, right? Or did he just want to ruin Halloween for the guy who has the most fun on Halloween every year? At least he didn't steal all of the Christmas lights two months after that. SO, have any of you ever had your house egged/TPed? I have never had anything done to my house, but every year I hide looking out the window for Tpers and eggers. If your reading this, you better not TP or egg my house on mischeif night or I will choke you.

...RANT

Dry Your Tears, It's The Sunday Morning Rant.

Sunday was a nice day, wasn't it? What a day it was. So nice. SO WHY IS EVERYONE ASKING ME ABOUT THE RANT?? YES, I DID NOT RANT ON SUNDAY. Usually I blame the absence of Sunday morning rant on blogger issues, but today I will just tell you that Sunday was the best day in a long time, and posting on a blog was not a good way to use it. Today, I will rant about Halloween. Halloween is my favorite holiday. What better way to spend a night then jump out from bushes and scare random people? Or demand candy from strangers and not get in trouble? Halloween is the best night ever, for me. What I don't like are people that ruin this wonderful night. I remember to years ago when people were saying "OMG! Theres a guy called the sombrero killer and he's this escaped serial killer from Mexico who wears a sombrero all the time and he is going to make a Halloween kill in our town!" OK, so there was no Halloween kill in our town. The sombrero killer probably doesn't exist either. There were also no Baby heads given out as candy, or strawberry drugs in lollipops. No knives in apples, and no explosions. It was just a normal, fun, Halloween night, like it has been every day since Halloween was celebrated. I also hate when people don't answer the door, and tell you to shut up and leave. Those people usually end up with eggs all over their house. Now it's ok if you don't want to participate in the best night of the year, but don't get mad at other people for being normal. I usually try to be somethings scary for Halloween, and I'm thinking along the lines of evil priest/pope. Another thing I hate is how school isn't off on Halloween. So we get off for Columbus day, which no one gives a potato about, but kids don't get off on the best day of the year. Especially since its mainly a kids-themed holiday, they should at least get a partial day. I also think that the day AFTER Halloween should be off considering the time I go to sleep. Fortunately Halloween is on a Saturday, which is the only day in 7 years that you get the whole day off, AND the NEXT day off. Another thing I should talk about and you were probably expecting me to talk about is the previous post.  I don't know if it was Rage or his replacement or whatever, I know just about as much as you do.

...Rant