Top 5 Worst Photos Used On Raging Hobbit Posts

I finally made an actual logo for The Raging Hobbit. Yes, a real logo. With a name. *clapclapclap*. Anyway, looking back on the old terribly photoshopped picture I had for Fists of Rage, I decided to countdown the 5 worst photos we ever decided to stamp on a post. Lets start with number 5.

5.) The Deer One

Post- Making Fun Of Animals

Of course we've seen bad animal caption pictures enough. But that doesn't stop Rage from posting this mundane and unrelated picture. Of all the bad things I could point out about this photo choice, I have to point out the 4 L's in bullet. I'm not sure If that was intended or not, but even if it was, how does it fit into the joke? But the lame animal pictures don't stop here..

4.) The Melon Cat One

Post- Brain Stump

I promised I would never ever use this photo in a Raging Hobbit post, no matter how small I made it. But I ended up posting the picture really small below a post just to show which one I was talking about. This picture still makes me annoyed when I look at it. Every single god damn thing I google I see this stupid f*cking cat with the melon on his head. God damn. I swear that picture..

3.) The Stupid Random Kool Aid One

Post-Political Correction and Tasty Processed Strawberries

What the hell is this? The kool aid man, with a sign indicating that he has no pants, and another one of those annoying viral animal pictures. Its the orangutan thing! All against a white background, this is obviously a terribly edited photo by Rage, trying to find material for posting. Too bad the post is only 12 words long! Worst photo ever? Not quite..
2.) The LolCat One

Post- Kittens...

What the hell was the point of that one? So I think that might have been Rage's fifth post about kittens, and his 11th post about animals? I think Rage's material is broken down into 3 general categories- 60% animals, 10% Bing!, and 30% me. Well this picture was annoying to the point that I almost went ahead and changed it for him. Here there is a crudely cropped picture of a cat, on a white background, with random text that hurts to read, and doesn't even make sense in relation to the post. But I saved the very worst for last...
1.) Matt Damon's Head In A Saw IV Poster

Post- Fists of Rage

Don't even look at this picture. Seriously, turn your head. This awfully photoshopped photo shows the difference between photoshop cs4 and photoshop cs5. In our first on here, We have a two dimensional floating Matt Damon head, suffering in proportion and physical impossibilities. The second one is perfect. Hopefully, since I told Rage how to get Photoshop cs5, we won't have any more bad animal pictures.

...Rant

Rant on Saw

DAMN IT! I was so happy that they changed "Saw 3D" back to "Saw VII", but they changed it back AGAIN! And then theres Paranormal freakin activity 2, which comes out on like the same day, which is probably going to worse than every single awful horror sequel in the world combined, which the director of "SAW 3D" wanted to direct anyway. It depends, what do you like better? Filming people getting tortured or filming people talking about ghosts for 2 and a half hours? F*ck Paranormal Activity! Thats like Dennis Kucinich shit! And f*ck "SAW 3D". Its going to be awful because the sick retards who produce Saw are running out of money to spend on child pornography so they ditched the idea of Saw 8, so the movie is either going to be long as shit or going to have like two stories going on at once like Saw V, so you can't tell what happened when or if this happened in Saw III era or post-Saw era. You know what else I hate about Saw? They make GREAT effing posters! FOR THE WORST MOVIES. Saw IV must have been the shittiest movie of them all, but they have this awesome poster (above) of Jigsaw's head, which incidentally weighs eight pounds! The best movie, The first Saw, is only a picture of a dudes leg with the vibrance turned all the way down. Another thing I hate about Saw is that all my favorite guys die. Lawrence, the blonde prick, lives, of course, when Adam has to die! Eric Matthews, the guy played by Mark Wahlberg's brother, dies, but Detective Hoffman lives! Whoever Danny Glover played was killed by Zepp, Zepp was killed my Adam, Adam was killed by Amanda, Amanda was killed by Jeff, Jeff was killed by Strahm, Strahm was killed by Hoffman, and Hoffman, was SUPPOSED to be killed by Jigsaw's really hot wife, but of course he LIVED! I hate Hoffman! I hope a dies a really gruesome death in Saw VII, which I refuse to call Saw 3D.

[Update- in Saw 3D, Hoffman was killed my Lawrence! win!]

...Rant

Strangers With Free Candy

Have you ever felt like theres someone you really shouldn't introduce yourself to? Thats how I feel right now. There are a bunch of people in my house right now for some event which I'm not entirely sure is for, and I keep having to introduce myself to creepy people who keep asking me how old I am, what grade I'm in, and if I want to go in their van for some free candy. So here I am, shut in my room with my cat, trying to avoid introducing myself to strangers.

Reasons Not to Leave my Room.

1.) Someone is making parrot noises.

2.) They are now making owl noises.

3.) Everyone is a lawyer.

4.) I heard my dad say my name , and then I heard a bunch of people laugh.

5.) In my room there is my laptop, my iPod, my bookshelf, my cat, and my stuffed Raging Hobbit head.

6.) Outside my room, there are creepy lawyer strangers, bad sandwiches, a tub of ice, and singing people.

7.) I'm not done with this post yet.

Anyway, I would also like to add o to my old Nazi Lifeguard post by noting that I hate lifeguards. I hate them so much. First of all, its the swimming pool's fault for having the lap lanes in the middle of the pool so you have to get out every time you want to go to the other end, and then the douchebag lifeguard yells at you for cutting though the lanes even if no one is swimming laps. They yell at you for every thing they can find reasons to yell about. they LIKE getting people in trouble for stupid reasons! They all LOOK the same, too! Blonde haired guys with red tinted sunglasses and way to much sunscreen. I swear, I would love to line up every lifeguard and personally strangle all of them.

...Rant

Fists of Rage

I would like to unleash my fists of rage first today on an Italian restaurant that gave me a dish of something they called olive oil, that may have killed my mouth. I swear, there was no olive oil in that. It tasted like something that i would not mention in polite conversation. The bread was great, but I swear, this was no olive oil. There was also some plastic thing in my gnocchi.

I would also like to unleash my fists of rage on my cell phone for jumping out of my pocket in New York City. There is absolutely no way I am getting that back. They funny thing is, I could have SWORN I had it in the car on the way back, but it is no where to be seen.

I would like to unleash my fists of rage on Matt Damon.

I would also like to unleash my fists of rage on the Spanish soccer team. I hate Spanish soccer players. They kind of look like asshole neanderthals. I think the Germany defeat is the fault of the referee for not calling ANY of Ramos's fouls, especially when he fouled Ozil the moment before he was about to score a goal.

I would also like to unleash my fists of rage on whatever genius changed the name for Saw 7. If you didn't already know, it is now called "Saw 3D- The Traps Come Alive". That has to be the worst name i have heard in my life. It barely makes sense, plus, Saw has now fallen into the terrible hellhole of new movies in 3D. I always found it hard on my eyes to watch 3D movies, and I will only be satisfied if some guys liver gets blown out into the audience and someone starts screaming. I like watching people get scared of 3D movies, it makes me happy.

I would also like to unleash my fists of rage on Blogger for not accepting my password for like 2 months.

[Update, my phone was under my bed.]

[Update, the name was changed to Saw- The Final Chapter. much better.]

...Rant

Explanation

I had some password issues and thats why I haven't posted since May but its all good. I'll post tomorrow, its like midnight right now so bye.

...Rant