Ok, You Can Stop Crying...

I promise that Rage will make more posts, he just wants attention, He may hand the job over to someone else, but again, I still think he is lying. By popular request (one person) (Marshall Sandoval), I will talk about people with authority. People with authority, be it a cop, a person in government, or a woman in a green shirt who yells at people at bar mitzvahs, people who have authority tend to have little sympathy or respect for people not in authority. E.g...police officer pulls over person driving one mile an hour over speed limit....police officer arrests teens for "loitering" or literally standing in one stop for too long (I still can't figure that out)....or a woman in a green dress who yells at kids at bar mitzvahs for doing thing that are perfectly normal but not normal for women in green dresses at bar mitzvahs. One side note I will add is the concept of loitering. What kids of world do we live in that we get fined for standing in one spot? When I first head of this, I thought it was a joke, and I laughed. Then I found out that it was real, and there was a very long awkward silence. I always wanted to be arrested for loitering and then punch a cop in the face. That would be FUN! Anyway, what I was going to bring up, was a certain woman of authority in a green dress at a bar mitzvah. Whether it was going to the bathroom, watching TV, or even leaving the place, this woman would be enraged. She would threaten to kick us out, and she kept limiting our space to roam in the building. First it was STAY IN THE BUILDING. Then it was STAY OUT OF THE BAR/TV AREA. Then it was STAY IN THE DINING ROOM AND DON'T EVEN GO NEAR THE DOOR OR BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN. Just when I was afraid she would restrict us to the corners or under the tables, she mysteriously disappeared. Maybe she went back to the underworld. ANYWAY, that's all that mattered to me, or (MARSHALL SANDOVAL) today. Have a good one, whatever that means.

The Last Rant...

That's right you big, fat idiot. I may be retiring, after such a short and pathetic life of 7 posts or so. Well, I'm going to take this opportunity to let out my hatred of all of the most annoying things in the world. I'll start off with the people who pester me about my retiring. One day, this big, white loser comes up to me and says "Hey, I think your funny?" I was going to reply with a nice, friendly "Step away you big fat idiot," but I didn't want to waste my breath, nor, was he fat. So if you think I'm funny, you are a sick, twisted cutter who really has nothing better to do. Stop reading. Now.
Next, we have this webs-maybe it's better not to talk about them. I'll just blame Laura Bush. Laura Bush won't let me forward my paragraphs with that beauty we call the "tab" button. The tab button indents, you hear me you buttwipe? You are so stupid. You even cut off the side of my Firefox-Satan pitchfork and his tail arrow. Does life hate me? No, it's this we-Laura Bush.
Next, it's when people request for me to make a rant about someone else. What I f I have a secret dieing passion for them? Well, in this case I don't, as my heart belongs to myself, not, may I add, the PC computer helper lady. I think I just lost my complexion.

Now, we get into the meat. The big, juicy, and oh-so-loveable heart of the rant. Mozilla Firefox. I think they may be one of the best internet services around. We've got the tone deaf Opera, who likes that? I may like to go on a Safari but I'd hate to explore the internet. I'd never in my life go to AOL. There's not even a pun for that internet service. It just sucks. So, now Mozilla Firefox gets an update to try to keep up with Safari, who started after them and is already ahead of the game. They put a dumbass shiny light on the icon at the top with the update of Firefox 4607 or something. That's an uncool move. My Satan Firefox is already outdated with this crap.

Here's what really ticks me off. Every time I open up five tabs, the 5th tab becomes it's own internet browser. My computer spazzes out, my crack-ass PDF which I finally got to load turns black, and I can't click on anything until that stupid we browser opens. Why would they do that? The point of tabs is so you DON'T have to open up more than one web browser. Jesus Christ. How inconvenient? Imagine if you're a lifeless fat moron who has nothing better to do than look at internet porno all the time? That splitting moment when the fifth beautiful picture opens up could allow the 80,000 Malaysian viruses programmed in the website to leak into your computer. Now, I'll put this in retrospect with the non-porn watching, uncommon man, who would have been common 60 years ago before comic books were invented to ruin kids' lives. You are playing internet scrabble. It's in adobe player 567899879, and your computer freezes when you open that 5th game. Say bye-bye to ultimate tournament and say hello to actually BUYING a Scrabble board rather than playing quasi-copyright infringing facebook scrabbleous.

So, I bid you all a not so fare-well, yes, I did cheat you out of 20 minutes of your life, and may you all remember me as the one who did absolutely nothing.

P.S. If this site instantly makes millions when I lose, I want half the profit or I will kill my successor. Yes, the one I have no power over and do not even personally know. Well I do personally know him, but I'm too paranoid so I force myself to rephrase it so the government doesn't go after me for saying I'd like to "kill" someone.

Worst Regards,
-Rage

Sunday Morning Rant- Vampires Plus

Let me start this off by saying that everyone will remember that vampires were all the rage in 2009. (No pun intended). True blood, Cirk de Freak or whatever, and Twilight of course. I really don't hate twilight that much, the book is bad, but not terrible, the movie is also bad, but really not horrible. WHAT I DO hate are twilight fans. I hate all the people who say "Edward Cullen is so hot!" and have screen names that are like "LUVbellaCULLEN123334445556789". I feel like getting sick. And then there are all those other poser vampire books/movies/TV shows that try to steal the fame, like True Blood (I barely know what that is) and Cirk de Freak or whatever. There are so many new books and movies that are just screaming "HEY WE HAVE VAMPIRES TOO!" and begging tween girls to watch them. Why have vampires become such a popular part of entertainment? What happened to zombies or cannibals or mummies? I really would rather see zombies wrapped in toilet paper than sparkling vampires. I hate when people say they are in love with Edward Cullen. I know I am not the first one to rant about this, but, Edward Cullen.....Isn't real. What I hate probably the most is when people say, OMG, I'm on TEAM JACOB! Or TEAM EDWARD! If only they knew how annoying they sounded. For your enjoyment, I have gathered a list of Twilight Disease symptoms from a funny group I found on Facebook. Credits to Chris Bobb and Justin Brown, whoever they are.

Symptoms may include:

1. You want to marry fictional vampires

2. You envy pale, fictional girls named Bella

3. You joined a "team" that is led by either a fictional vampire or a fictional werewolf

4. You enjoyed the movie that was terrible by all standards

5. You don't mind incredibly prude writing

6. You are a conformist

7. You have arguments over who loves Jacob more

8. You have started or joined a "vampire" group at your school

9. You want to be a Mormon like Stephanie Meyer

If you are a twilight fan offended by my rant, please email your complaint to jesushatesyou@fakeadress.com.

...Rant

Offenders Part Two- Smeagol

OK, so I was going to wait ontil Rage posted so I wouldnt have three posts in a row, but he hasn't been posting, I don't know, maybe he died... anyway.. I looked up "The Raging Hobbit" on Google, just to see how popular we are. Well, I saw someone that posted a link to Rage's post "Whining Idiots who Want Everything". He posted it on Twitter, so I could see it, even though I don't have a twitter account because I don't like the idea of having just anyone see what I have to say. Some people will not get that joke. If you didn't get that joke two sentances ago, please leave this blog now. ANYWAY, this guy,who is ironically named Gollum10, posted a "tweet", a link to our blog. Now that's very good, and I'd like you to take example of him. What isn't very good was that he claimed to be The Raging Hobbit. Now obviously you know that couldn't be true because the only person who has admin access to this blog are the two Raging Hobbits, who are saying that he is lying. Gollum10, Sam Everett, has posted a link to OUR BLOG and claimed that HE IS THE RAGING HOBBIT. SOMEONE HAS IMPERSONATED US. I know I said that about 8 times, but I want you to take into account how disgusted we are. I will post the link to his tweet in the comments, because as you may know, Blogger does not let me paste anything in the comments and I wouldnt like typing all that URL stuff.

Sunday Morning Rant?

Yes, I know I failed to make a Sunday Morning Rant yesterday, but believe it or not, I have a life, and I had things to do that day. This post will be the Sunday Morning Rant to make up for yesterday. As an introduction, I will say some things about customer service people. OK, so as you may know, customer service for Internet Explorer fails because you just talk to a Robot Woomun. Whenever you click "contact us" on any site or whatever, you end up talking to someone that either is a robot and doesnt understand anything, of someone who takes about a week to respond to your email, and then says "I can't help you." I especially hate when they sign something like "Your Friendly customer service pals" I am not your friend! I don't even know you! And if I did, I would probably hate you! Another thing I wanted to talk about is what Kanye West did to Taylor Swift at the MTV music awards. Everyone hates Kanye West now, but I personally think that Taylor Swift's music Video sucked, and Beyonce should have gotten that award. Taylor Swift is such a poser, and she thniks she's all country when her songs are all just pop-junk. Everyone made this whole big deal about how her song was the first "country" song to be number one in the charts in like thirty years. I hate country music (especially that big green tractor one, what was that??) and I could care less about it, but Taylor Swift's music is an insult to real country artists. One quick thing that I want to add was an unfortunate event that happened when I was playing mobsters and I accidentaly punched myself in the face and dealt two damage. But it could've been worse, there is a way you can attack yourself and shoot yourself and stuff. I think it's a glitch, they must get rid of that. See picture. OK, so this week in review. Monday. I do nothing. I watch a little US open and eat pretzels. Tuesday. School supplies. US Open. Frisbee with friends. Last day of break Pretzels. Wednesday. School. US Open. Pretzels. Thursday. School. Ice Cream. US Open. Pretzels. Friday. School. Movie. Ice Cream. US Open. Pretzels. Saturday, now heres where things start to get interesting- US Open. Pretzels. Sunday. Movie. US Open. Sickness. Headache. Having trouble breathing. Flu. Bump head on bottom of sink. Cat watches in horror. Cat scratches foot. Foot bleeds. No Sleep. At all. Unwilling all-nighter. Monday. Stay home from school. Not feeling any better. Get red plastic and metal thing in mouth. Very uncomfortable. Pink Panther. Borat. US Open. Pretzels. Stub Toe. Take anger out on innocent stuffed duck. Sickness not looking up at all. Looks like another bad week, sorry about the delayed rant, as if you were weeping about it anyway. Goodbye.

...Rant