Rage's Unfinished Posts

I just found these. Most were written early this year. -Rant

The fallowing is truly my most shallow excuse for remaining a Catholic:


ATHEISTS ARE JERKS

I said it once, I'll say it again.

ATHEISTS ARE JERKS

Literally, I am yet to meet an Atheist I could handle. Not one. They all act as a unified force of mean.


Now, I know most of you atheist whom of which read the Raging Hobbit will get offended. (All 2 of you) But that's because you're a jerk who can't take a joke! Anyway, Back to the sad truth about the atheists. I know, I know, your not ALL jerks. And you don't really ever act like a jerk, EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO RELIGION!!! You always have to try and convert us happy religious types.

Here's an exact quote from out friend Theo "Woodpusher" Coyne: "Hey, Nick, prove to me God is real!"

Here's the next one.. -Rant

It has come to my attention that the reputation of our happy little town of Montclair is one of purely evil slander. Let me show you:

Verona: White, Rich
Bloomfield: Urban, Poor-ish, Ghetto, Montclair Sr.
Cedar Grove: Pathetic, Funny, The town with the rotting remains of an asylum, (basically the Nick Harras of towns in Essex County.)
Clifton: Rich, Awesome, Friends with everyone
Waine: ...
Montclair: Rich/Poor, White/Ghetto, GAY!!!

No, but actually, Montclair is like... the gayest town within 10 miles. And it breaks my heart. My gay, little, Montclairian heart.

Here's the third. -Rant

Hello and G'day! I decided to write a little more about morons...err...mormons! Once again, in advance, I apologies to the mormons. Actually, I don't. You guys don't have internet access! Hahahahahaha! Take it! Your "Bible" forbids "internets!"

So, I decided to steal one of your "Bibles" from one of your "holy impounds" full of your "wives" as in "daughters."

Mormon list of holidays:

Christmas: The celebration of the birth of Jesus. Did you know that Mary was actually Jesus's daughter?

Easter: The death of Jesus. It's that time of year again! Have a child with your daughter!

Great Papa's birthday: Rejoice! Have a threesome with your daughter!

The best for last, here is another unfinished kitten post. -Rant

Well, I was going to post a link saying "Funny Video," as the most hilarious joke ever, but I was trying to add a scared face picture, and when I Googled "gasp" all that came up was, no, not porn, but kittens; which are nude, therefore kitten porn.

Note Things

This Facebook note situation is getting extreme. The 35 things no one cares about note idea has moved to a whole new demographic- that same crew who changes their middle name to "Lautner" and throws a party every time a new Twilight movie comes out. So this means that not only are they taking up wall space, but I also get notifications for it. Having not much to do, I looked at some of these notes, and to be honest, I wouldn't be able to tell any of them apart. Now, since the Raging Hobbit demographic is not these type of people and chances are they aren't reading this post, I can talk about them all I want. So every one has at least four "facts" about how they love/miss their friends, a fact about how they're friends are so nice to them, 2 facts about Jersey Shore/or Snooki, not only that, but EVERY SINGLE ONE is called something like "so this is 35 facts, right?" or "35 facts, I guess". NO. You do not GUESS, or THINK anything. You do not sound cooler by pretending to not understand the concept, which, incidentally, is incredibly easy. you write 35 things about yourself. And you obviously understood it when you were writing the note, so you don't need to pretend you don't get it anymore. Let me just tell you that when I wrote the post "Penis Crackers" It was made as a joke towards my friends, who were the only ones doing this at the time, and YES, I DID make one, but only 2 other people had done it at the time. So stop giving me crap about it!

So I thought it would be nice to close off with one last note

35 Things About The Raging Hobbit

1. I just realized after having ranted about facebook notes, that The Raging Hobbit spawned from Greg's Facebook Notes.

2. I can call him Greg now because he left Raging Hobbit

3. The month with the most posts was Spetember 2009 (24), followed by April 2010 (21)

4. The month with the least posts were February and June 2010, both with 0

5. The Raging Hobbit started September 2, 2009

6. The post "Rant's Complete List of True Celebrity Rumors And Brief Rant On American Idol" was supposed to be the last Raging Hobbit post.

7. The post "Teen Idols" is the only Raging Hobbit Post not to be posted right after it was written. It was in Raging Hobbit Limbo for about 2 months. The picture was made after.

8. "The Ranta Score" was the longest post to write (over 3 weeks), and is also the longest post to date. [Update, the longest post is now Ultimate Rant Time, but it did not take as long to write..]

9. Rage (Greg) has said he would quit Raging Hobbit 3 times and counting

10. Rant has 92 posts, Rage has had 25.

11. Every single post has a picture.

12. The shortest post to date is "Fat Pirates"

13. The Jack Fields Posts has more pictures than any other post (6).

14. The only posts ever to be removed from Raging Hobbit are "Crappy Fanmail" and Jack's post about mailmen.

15. The post that has been edited the most over time is the first one, "The Raging Hobbit"

16. The Raging Hobbit logo has been changed 4 times.

17. The post with the most comments is "The Longest Post. Ever."

18. Its not the longest post ever.

19. The first post that comes up on google when you search "Raging Hobbit" is "Sunday Morning Rant?"

20. I gave up on sunday morning rants a while back.

21. This blog was originally going to be called "The Angry Midget"

22. "The Angry Midget" was supposed to be Greg.

23. The Facebook page for Raging Hobbit came before the blog.

24. The first follower was Teddy

25. I've had "Eye of the Tiger" on repeat the whole time I've been writing this post.

26. My name was originally going to be "Louis Breckley", not Rant.

27. Greg was going to be "The Angry Midget"

28. "Louis Breckley and The Angry Midget" just sounded too much like a 90's family sit-com.

29. theangrymidget.blogspot.com was taken by some guy who only posted once in 2008, and it was a bunch of jokes he copied and pasted from CollegeHumor.

30. I'm still listening to Eye of the Tiger

31. Longest post name- "I Haven't Posted In A While But I Will Start Posting More Because I finished Standardized Testing And A History Report"

32. Shortest Post Name- "Post 100"

33. Of the many things I complain about, I've never complained about the weather.

34. Technically, only three other people have posted besides me and Greg. (Jack, Corrina, and Rage 9.2.1)

35. IDK!!

...Rant

Penis Crackers

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE HOBBIT ENTHUSIASTS? There are none! Absolutely none! And I know this wasn't some conspiracy to all unfollow the blog, because one of the followers was ME, and no one knows the password to my account!

I would like to congratulate Rage 9.1.2, to be honest, I saw this one coming. Its always nice to add one more asshole to our asshole raging hobbit community.

Facebook notes. I have been tagged in three of them today. I honestly do not care if you like cats, straighten your hair every day, or eat penis crackers. Stay off my damn page. Do you know why I started a facebook? To see if Osama Bin Laden was really facebook friends with Barack Obama. Honest to god! I didn't ask for any of this! And I couldn't see unless I had a facebook! So i used the name "joe gandhi" because I didn't want annoying people from my 3rd grade summer camp that I barely talked to friending me! But thats exactly what happened! Two random people from my grade friended a random guy named "Joe Gandhi". At first I was like, what are the odds, and then I realized that I had filled out my school and graduation year, because it was required. Apparently, these two people who friended me (names will not be written), thought there was actually someone in the grade named Joe Gandhi. So I stupidly changed my name to my REAL one, and thats when the requests came pouring in. Family members, teachers, friends, random asians, and advertisers. Thats when I got caught up in barn-ville and war rabbits and become a fans and photos and music and news feed and chat and BleaaahHHHHH! Stop tagging me in notes!! I will go mad!!!!!!

...and the funny thing is, I still don't know if Osama Bin Laden is facebook friends with Obama.

Rant

Death of Rage

Hello, world.
I have some terrible news for you...
Rage... is dead. What do you mean who? Come on... Rage? He was the one who made the bad racist jokes and made fun of Jack Fields one too many times.... RAGE!? He made Like 15% of the posts! What did you think "Rant and Rage" was?

Oh, yeah, yes he was Greg... This is what Greg was talking about when you were only half listening to him.... Uh huh... You better believe it.

Don't cry, those of you who pretend to like Greg and say he reminds you of Phineas and Ferb. Don't you shed one tear. Why? It's a simple asnwer:

ME!!!

It's Rage.9.2.1, baby! The next generation! N.I.Q! Spirit! Sputniq! Que! Llama Boy! Stavo! Harry! Jizz-Pillow! The Depressed Looking Kid in the Corner of Mr. Millers Room! Greg^2!

Like a phoenix, Greg's fiery soul ignited and out from the remaining ashes raises the Nick Harras you see here now. Or something like that, I was too tired to remember.

That's right, AMERICA, I finally inherited a blog with 12 followers. My 1st step toward world domination. Maybe one day, I'll be a Jonas Brothers fan or maybe and an Apple Genius. (That was sarcasm... I was mocking this blog)

In any case, I promise to take Rage to a whole new level. (And don't worry, Teddy, I went through the whole legal process... of an iChat video chat given oath.) Greg may have pixelmator... but I'm funnier... so... done and done.

I don't know what Rant will say to this, seeing as step by step I am slowly intruding into his life.

I promise, Raging Hobbit, that I will not only to long to, but to become a gigantic asshole.

... Rage

Golf

Why is it that everyone who doesn't play golf think its stupid? "its so stupid and you dont do anything derp derp" fuck all of you. I don't care if its "not a sport" or "you don't do anything", its FUN. You know what sport I think is stupid? Basketball. All you do is bounce a ball and throw it into rings. Any sport could sound sucky when you put it into perspective. Take soccer for example. You kick a ball. Thats all. Wanna know a FACT? Playing 18 holes of golf burns 400 calories. AND thats only when you use a golf cart. Most people walk, which means more of like around 750 calories. Golf IS a sport. I mean if poker is a sport, you have to give golf a chance. And fishing? really? What about a port where you just go around killing people? is murder a sport? Murderball. Man is the most dangerous game. See, killing people IS a sport! What did that have anything do with anything? I don't know. But really, if you've never played golf, DON'T say its boring. (teddy cahill).

...Rant