Ok, I was lurking around on Facebook, and Jack messages me, and I immediately thought, oh, he's going to complain about Teddy or talk about homework! But to my surprise, he told me that the Raging Hobbit was DELETED. Now this completely ruins the story because as you are reading this post, you must be thinking "well, Jack is full of shit, and the story is ruined because I know the Raging Hobbit wasn't deleted". But anyway, I go on myself, and sure enough, it said the blog was removed. I immediately think "NICK, THAT HOMO BAG OF WHORE" and I was ready to blow up his house, when I went back, and suddenly I stared into the eyes of Uncle Ruckus and a creepy stuffed head, and I was silently debating on whether is was good, because RH wasn't deleted, or bad, because I didn't get to hurl a tornado of destruction towards Nick. Then I decided to post, because evidently SOME people still read the blog.
Maybe I should make a list of insults that I've heard that don't make sense.
So I'll do that.
Rant's List Of Insults That Don't Make Sense
"Homo" - I guess you could argue that it could mean something along the lines of "HOMOSEXUAL", but still, its actually just a prefix that means "the same". Prefix insults are bush league.
"Scrub"- Didn't we used to do that to dishes? Its a verb, fucksticks.
"Fucksticks"- Its a dumb insult. I guess it could make sense, but we have enough insults relating to penises.
"BAG OF WHORE"- For some reason, this particular defamation is always used in all caps.
"Sperm Bank"- I don't need to explain why this insult sucks.
"Fuckaroo or Motherfuckeroo"- I guess its fun to say, but it sounds stupid!
"Bag of Douche"- Don't make me kill you. The term is "douchebag"
Yes, I've heard all of these insults being used. Mostly by the same person.
Yes, I've heard all of these insults being used. Mostly by the same person.
Now we move on to something different: phrases.
"Shut Your Ass"- Used to replace "shut up". although "shut your ass" means something entirely different than "stop talking". It actually seems more like something you'd say to your dog who can't stop farting in front of the guests. "Hey Rufus! Shut your ass! It smells like a god damn shit factory in here!"
"What the Shit"- If I was an old irish lady, I would beat people with my handbag every time they said this. God damn, this one really makes my eye twitch.
"Shit the Fuck!" - I HAVE heard this, usually when someone messes up putting their words together in some way. Not sure if they were trying to put together something creative, or if they tried to say "SHIT!" and "WHAT THE FUCK!" at the same time. It really makes you sound like a fool, no matter how angry you are.
"Zip Your Face"- ITS ONLY FUNNY IF STEVE CARELL SAYS IT. Stop trying to quote movie insults that are supposed to be stupid. This and these fucking Step-Brothers insults. Stop already.
-Rant
