Nothing Ruins a Great Song Like An Awful Music Video.

Ever listened to a really good song and find out that it has a really bad music video? Of course you have, just about everyone has. The first time I heard "Good Girls Go Bad" by Cobra Starship, I kind of liked it, even though it generally isn't my type of music. Then I saw the video, obviously that guy doesn't realize that his annoying hand motions and his facial expressions make this video painful to watch. Now every time I hear the song, I think of this guy shaking and waving his hands all weird and smiling weirdly, kind of like Pennywise on LSD. There are a lot of videos I can name that are like that, but this was the best example I could think of off the top of my head. Right now I think that I should talk about inside jokes. Don't you hate them? Or..just when other people use inside jokes and refuse to explain them just because you weren't "there"? Is there a law that says that funny events cannot be shared unless you saw it happen? OK, I admit, I say the occasional inside joke on the blog, you know, pumpkins, Asians, OK, they are funny, but if someone asks about it I would tell them where it came from, I wouldn't just ignore them or tell them they weren't there.. Well this is going to be a short post, because I have to leave soon to go to the world series game, but I feel like I should mention something else. If you dare egg my house tomorrow night, keep in mind that I am waiting for you at the front of my house with an Airsoft gun. Oh, and also, if you try to egg my house carrying an Airsoft gun, I will call my army of 400 hiding behind various trees in my yard, who are armed. Don't even try.

...Rant

Original Notes By Rage

So, what better way to mourn MJ then too watch all of his Music Videos on Youtube, right? Wrong. Youtube's video comments are the most pointless, crappy, blatantly racist wastes of gigabytes I've ever seen. I'm pretty sure the big fat rich Google team could care less who writes what and where. People were being so racist it's not even funny. I think that if someone knows someone who knows someone who knows any of the big fat idiots who don't have a comment moderating feature on Youtube, they should like, yell at them or something.

People are so stupid

So maybe the Mayans predicted the world would end in 2012,but you know what, I've got no retorts that don't have to do with Ralf Nader, so screw those old dead guys. Here's my evidence. Let's start with Farrah. She was a chick. Now she's dead. Oh no. But then...MJ? How does this happen? It's gotta be some kinda conspiracy! And now Billy Mays? That guy was my favorite annoying commercial screamer! I think I'll go buy ten bottles of Oxi-Clean in his memory. So there're three dead famous people. Now this all started in 1963 with JFK. Did you know he was carrying a piece of the All-Spark with him before he was sniped down by Lee Harvey Oswald, AKA the Terminator? So I've discovered something while wasting my first precious days of summer getting fatter and typing on the computer. America is wasting away. All saround us is war. There's about as much hope as there is oil left in the world. I'm not being serious, by the way. I'd only be saying that if I were old and white. And I am white, but that's besides the point. I like to think of myself as a more tanish caramel blend. Back to the point, we're heading into judgement day! Armageddon. The apocalypse is near! And do you know how to prevent it? Do you know how to save the Earth? I'm sure you want to. You know you want to. Well, here's how. Give me 4 million dollars, all of your computers, and some really hot chicks. Then I'll ask God to spare you or something.

Don't take this personally. Who ever doesn't gets paddled.

Now I'm afraid someone is gonna take me seriously and call the FBI. Crap. Ignore this entire note.

Haha are you still reading? Lemme tell you, you're wasting SOOO much of your life.

26 seconds! Wow!

Lemme get this BS straight. I have held on two my Cell Phone for more than two years now. My same, crappy LG gray phone Razor-Rip Off. Everyone else, started out with a somewhat better phone. Of course, there were people who had worse phones, but not many. Now here comes the good part. I may seems a little-stalkerish for keeping track.

6 people dropped their phone
2 people got their phone cracked in half when...
...5 people were frustrated that they left their phone in their pants before a wash just after talking to the...
...Nick Harras 1 person who dropped their phone off a rollercoaster
and the 43 people who had a phone for only one year but decided to throw it down a well so their parents can help the economy buy buying a new one or something.

So, every one of those people got a brand new, sparkly phone. Some got an envy, the lucky ones got Iphones or blackberrys, some simply got brand shiny new versions of their old phone.

So, I asked my mom for an upgrade. You know her exact response? F$%^ NO!

No luck, so I'm looking for suggestions, should I....

A. Chuck my phone at someones head
B. Pretend to trip and smash my phone through a window
C. Eat a sandwich while holding my phone, accidentally bite phone (Preferred, it would knock out my last baby tooth.)
D. Magnetize it
E. Put it in the fridge
Or F. pretend to be talking to someone when I hear a pop (me stepping on bubble-wrap) get surprised and drop phone into glass of water.

But really, folks, my best bet would be a hammer accident. Toss out suggestions please!

-Rage, kind of

8 Follower Special

Well! We have 8 followers! I was really going to wait until we had 10 followers to dedicate a post to our readers, but 8 seems like a fair number, and I really have nothing else to talk about. By request of out third follower, I was going to talk about an old lady who is stalking him, but I think I should wait until we can do that post together, because I have only seen this lady once (believe me, one time is enough). So I am going to talk about my followers. OK, some people have been asking me about where my first guest post is. Yes, I deleted it. It was messing up some blog things, and the Hobbit to Hobbit connection was a little off. I have a saved it, so I maybe can put it up later and make the font not-so out of whack. Well, you are probably not wondering who our 8th follower is. He's an angry Klan member who always wants me to rant about Jewish people. No, just kidding, he's just a guy that's read our blog since September 3rd and took a while to subscribe. OK, I have gathered all of Rage's notes and I will post them after this post, which is going to be pretty short, and I only really needed to talk about one guy who doesn't really lead an epic life. You know, maybe I should touch on that. Don't you hate people who don't live epic lives? They're just so...maybe I won't touch on this. Goodbye for now!

...Rant

The Last Sunday Before Halloween

OK, so I am talking about Halloween again, and at this point, you're probably thinking "when will this guy shut up??" but I am so excited about it and I have so many things to say. OK, so first off, we have a 7th follower, Lee Johnson, who happens to be the same guy who threatened to flag my blog unless I give him 10 dollars. He also ended up flagging our blog from spam, but Google really doesn't care because 1, were not spamming, and 2, they are too busy thinking up more schemes to get money from innocent bloggers. But do you know what I want to talk about for a while? Pumpkin picking. I went to a modest farm thing to pick pumpkins, and they really didn't have that many good ones, because old people who pick their pumpkins in mid-September take all of the good ones. I spent about 50+ dollars on three pumpkins, and then went to Shoprite to get two more, and guess what? They were MUCH better, and and only 5 DOLLARS EACH. There you have it, these modest farmers want you to come to their modest farm to pick their modest pumpkin and rip you off a (more than) modest amount. I kind of wanted to go back to the farm and scalp the people, but I really didn't want to be in jail on the ONLY Halloween in 7 YEARS that we get the whole day off, AND the next day off. Anyway, I have already prepared a little for Halloween, I stuffed some people, fake people, mind you, as you can see above^^. Another Halloween subject that I will quickly note, is that, if you are reading this, and you are going to celebrate Halloween, PLEASE don't give out raisinettes. PLEASE. Because you know who celebrates Halloween most? Kids. And do you know who likes raisinettes? Nobody. I also hate when old ladies give out things like prunes. PLEASE, I don't care how worried you are about child healthcare, If you like your house un-egged, I advice not giving us anything but candy on Halloween. Hang on, I have to take a shower, be right back. Ok, I'm back. Now as I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted by my urge to take a shower, Halloween is supposed to be a fun night, and the only things that make it unfun are school, creepy old guys who hand out candy, and weather. Oh, and racists dressed up as evil bloody popes (who would do that?). Anyway, there was some controversy about my last post. I really don't give an Asian if you think I am insulting your race. But I do give an Asian, in fact, I give many Asians, if people stop reading my blog. So I try to appeal to every race, religion, and Asian person, but trust me, it's hard. Another thing, if you haven't noticed, I have added a new feature to my blog, Sausage links. (It's on the right). This is where I put links to things I talk about, in case I can't paste it into blogger or I don't feel like going on Mozilla Firefox. I will also be staring a series of Rage's Facebook notes that inspired me to make a blog. These are the original uncooked versions of the inspiration to start a blog. Raging Hobbit credits go to Rage, for making Facebook notes that inspired me, Henry Gifford, a guy who said that Rage sounds like a blogger and he should start a blog, and Rant (thats me, in case you are a new guy) for actually making the blog and 90 percent of the posts.

...Rant

Retaliation and Nazi Lifegaurds

In case you didn't know, Ranter AK of "I Hate Etc Etc" made a two sentence retaliation to my post about his blog. I guess I should say something back. Until Ranter AK can type without a typo every other sentence, and/or makes a fan page for his blog, no one can take it seriously. Also, the best ranters never call themselves ranters, they just talk and let other people decide whether he is ranting or not. Yes, I know what you are thinking. I call myself Rant. Please, I didn't have many options. This either proves three things, I am not a good ranter (there I go again, calling myself a ranter), or I am not a ranter at all (there I go again, again) or I am a ranter that is so above every other ranter in the world that I can break the unwritten law of ranters (there I go again, kind of). One thing I would like to talk to you about is that, my posts in no way, intend to offend any race, religion, or Asian person. I say this because one person confronted me about my referring to strict lifeguards as Nazis, which somehow insults Germans. Let me tell you this, I am of German decent, most of my ancestry traces back to Germany. I don't want to offend the Germans, really. Another person confronted me about I remark I made about gypsies, which I think I removed, or may still be there, saying that gypsy jokes insulted Romanians. Now if I said that all gypsies were fat stalkers who wear too much makeup, that may be insulting, but saying that a stalker who wore makeup kind of looked like a gypsy is not the same thing as saying that every gypsy is a fat grandmother who wears too much makeup. A lot of my Atheist friends have tried to convince me to talk about how they don't think that god exists, or that talking snakes aren't real, or that Jesus looked funny with a thorny hat. As I said, I do not want to offend any religion or ethnic group. Right now I am obsessing over how I cannot get my recently purchased movie "drag me to hell" (how ironic, gypsies...I guess you have to see the movie) on to a blank DVD disc from iTunes. Why is iTunes so uncooperative with me? I am also obsessing over Google Blogger and how the font keeps randomly changing, and so does the spacing, and I can't add pictures...and the whole Google voice thing, seriously, I think the whole electronic world is out to get me. Except for Apple, pf course, how I love iPods, and Safari..and everything is just so...SIMPLE..and wait.....iTunes! Duhh, how could I forget. Even trusty Apple has to turn on me. At this point I have to just hide behind my PC knowing that these attacks only happen while I'm on the computer. Speaking of apples, I just ate this macintosh apple, and it was guuuud. Oh, and remember how I was talking about how worms never actually crawl around in apples? Unfortunately for me, this was proved wrong, on my school trip, during lunch. Details not included, it gets messy.


...Rant

Moar Halloween Stufz- Sunday Morning

New movies in theaters, I really was expecting them all to be bad. Theres a SAW movie every year, and they all suck, so I hear. I saw "SAW 2" on SyFy, and it was so stupid, I swear I even heard my cat moaning at the screen (he does that when the Yankees lose, too). Well there are new scary movies in theaters, and I was expecting stupid movies like Saw 6, but I was surprised at the reviews of movies like "Paranormal Activity" and "Trick 'r Treat". Apparently the Halloween flicks this year are actually good. Well, with the exception of Saw 6, but I swear, theres going to be one every year. One year their going to run out of ideas of torture, and make a movie about how these guys get their peanut butter stolen by jigsaw and co. We've all been down that road, anyway, I'd like to make a quick note about the new spelling of the Sci-Fi channel, they now changed it to SyFy. I think the are slowly creating a nerd language...its almost scary. Another thing, that thing from Trick 'r Treat that is pictured above looks kind of cute, doesn't it? Just try not to look at the bloody lollipop. On a different subject, I found out how to paste into blogger. *Drumroll*....MOZILLA FIREFOX! Yes, Its the Firefox devil thing in The Last Rant. It is the spastic 5th tab. It is the "this program is not responding". Its Mozilla Firefox that does the trick! Anyway, now that I had this problem solved, I saved a potential blog crisis. I accidentally clicked "publish" instead of save, and posted my un-edited, incomplete post. I didn't want anyone to see it, so I copied the entire thing and deleted the post (and the idiot of the year award goes to..), then, I remembered that I couldn't paste into blogger. So I looked up my problem (on Google, it was an emergency), and found some forum of desperate losers who were crying about not being able to paste into their blog entries. When I was done laughing at them, I read their advice and used Firefox....and it worked. Back to the subject of Halloween, I found out that the pope costume I was going to order doesn't fit me. You have to be, like, 300 pounds. So, I see how it is. Only fat guys can dress up as popes. I guess I'll have to look for another one...But if you find one, please Email it to toobadcantsendpopecostumesthroughemails@notvalidanyway.concordgrapes.peanutbutter.com Anyway, I was at a bar mitzvah today, and guess what they had..CONCORD GRAPES! There was a creepy old man staring at me while I was eating them, but I enjoyed them anyway. Ever had a creepy old person stare at you? It weeeeiirrrdd. I was at the char broil the other day eating delicious grilled cheese, when I noticed an old woman just STARING at me. She looked like she was about to kill me, and she had a LOT of makeup and lipstick on so she looked kind of like a gypsy-witch-fat-creepy-grandma. Yeah, kind of like the picture below. I was with my friend, and guess what, he told me that the same exact person was staring at him while he was waiting for his slow and stupid doctor. She is stalking us, I swear. Another thing, my dad is leaving for a while, and he doesn't want me to cook or anything. We just had an awkward conversatin that went kind of like this- Rant- So I can't cook anything? Father Rant- No. Rant- not even like, hashbrowns or anything? Father Rant- they stick to the pan. It's hard to get off. Rant- What about fries? Father Rant- You use the oven. Rant- I know... Father Rant- Do you know how to use the oven? Rant-you turn it on...? Father Rant- Yes. Rant- So can I make fries?....awkward silence...Father Rant- Call me if you make anything. Rant- yes, Father Rant. Anyway, enjoy your rainy and miserable Sunday...the reason That this post is up Sunday afternoon is because currently I can't put my pictures on the post..ARG!

...Rant

Okay, I Am Going To Sum Up The Great And Never-ending Conspiracies of the World With My Skewed Views

First off, let me start by saying a much funnier image would have been posted above if it hadn't been for the fact that I'd get my pants sued off. So, go ahead and Google "Satan Wal*Mart" to find true comedy. Next, the second image option was off JFK smiling and waving. The first picture that showed up was his open bloody head. I really needed to see that. So instead I give you some "lolcats", which brings me to my list of conspiracies.

#1. Lolcats is a communist Russian website dedicated to brainwashing American children to ship over home-made nuclear bombs! I know, because I was halfway through that trance when I woke up. You just gotta have a daily dosage of those adorable little animals!

#2. "Ihateetcetc.com" It's existence depends on our endorsement, we subsidize it, basically. And even if this is a free website, I've got to tell you that we are taking bribes. Go ahead government, seize us!

#3. This website. It's actually dedicated to brainwashing Russian children to bring nuclear bombs to the military. Oh look, I'm deep throat! (Please note, I originally typed "George W. Bush before I typed the military, but I don't want to use nukes and Bush in the same sentence.)

#4. "Report offensive" internet buttons. If they really did something, then we'd be long gone. In fact, they are there to drain bandwidth from the world.

#5. Wal*Mart! This is the true heart of the universe. They exist in over 678 countries around the world, according to their website, and I'm pretty damn sure that there aren't that many. There's more, but I'm too tired to write a full paragraph.

#6. JFK/Lincoln. This is how they were actually killed:


Now, doesn't that explain everything?

#7. Google Voice. It doesn't actually exist. If it did, I'd have heard of it before I read Rant's stupid post.

#8. Skippy peanut butter. I read the back of the can. CONTAINS MARGARINE.

#9. Facebook. It's actually designed to brainwash Liberian children to make nuclear bombs for the Aliens who killed Abe Lincoln.

#10. Star Wars: Anything after Return of the Jedi. They don't exist. They are a lie. If they were real (if I hadn't blocked them from my mind,) I would have already jumped off a bridge. I'm alive and...not necessarily healthy, but I'm alive and...and there are no such things as Clones!!!!!!!

#11. Dolly the Sheep. There are no such things as Clones!!!!!!

#12. To wrap it all up, I'm revealing the truth behind the biggest conspiracy of all. Not Nixon. Not the truth behind the Cleavland Show... BALLOON BOY! Yes, the dumb little six year old with nutjob parents who told him to hide in the attic while they let loose a balloon. Some say it was a publicity stunt, but I know better. They wasted 60,000 some dollars on military services, and while all of Colorado was intent on watching some kid fall and splat, they missed the fact that Phidel Castro--You know what, I better not talk about Cuba. A few years ago they got a fresh shipment of nukes from Myspace users...

-Rage

A Simpler Subject...

Lately I have been talking about things that can only relate to certain people (e.g. people who use Facebook, people who know about Google voice..) Which has generated a lot of complaints, so I decided to talk about something that everyone can relate to at some level. My seedless grapes. OK, so grapes are really really good, and if you know me well, you would know that my body is 95% grape and 5% other stuff. So, anyway I had these grapes lately that tasted so good, almost like candy. They had seeds, which was no problem because they didn't taste like anything, and it said that it has seeds on the bag. So I bought these purple grapes the other day, which said clearly and boldly, SEEDLESS. So I bought them. They weren't concord grapes, so I wasn't expecting as much as the others, but I was greatly disappointed when I chomped into my first grape. There were four little (really big) brown seeds in the grape. So I thought, no problemo, I'll chuck this one. Then I tossed the second and third grape I took out, for the same reason. That's when I realized that these grapes were in no way seedless. I decided to try one, because they probably didn't taste like anything like the concord grapes I had a while ago. They seed let out some kind of seedy acid or whatever that would have shriveled up my tongue if I didn't spit it out. I mean, this wasn't edible. They were so bitter, that they made the whole grape inedible. Even when I picked out the seeds, the whole grape tasted was so bitter, it was like eating an orange peel! (ever done that?) I mean, its okay if they leave some seeds in these grapes but MAN! Every single one in the bag! Jesus Christ! How could anyone mess up that bad?? After I had tossed those, I bought new bag of purple grapes because I couldn't find the concord ones, and SURPRISE! More seeds! Well screw that, I will NEVER buy from that brand anymore. On another food note, I am out of peanut butter which equals apocalypse for Rant. Rant doesn't feel like going to A&P right now, but Christ, if I don't have peanut butter by the end of today I will start getting tremors, or maybe fall into cardiac arrest? So If anyone wants to give me some peanut butter, please send to toobadcantsendpeanutbutterthroughemails@notvalidanyway.needmahPB.seedlessgrapes.com...

BTW I am going on a trip Tuesday through Friday so expect no posts from me..maybe Rage will post, who knows. But I will post Sunday morning, I swear.

...Rant

Google Threatens The Raging Hobbit

Ok, so some Facebook friend posted "who wants a Google voice invite?" as their status. I naturally looked up "Google voice" and found out that it was free, but you could only get it by invite. So I got an invite from this friend, and it looked pretty cool so I set it up. Once I got it, I knew it was a mistake. You couldn't do anything that they said you could, like make a personalized outgoing message for different people, or change ringtones for different people, and even if you could, they would have to call your "Google Number". One problem, no one knows what my Google number is, and they have no reason to call it. Also, when you call it, it notifies the person that this is not your real number, which kind of ruins the "heres-the-number-I-will-give-you-because-I-want-to-block-your-calls-so-I-can-ignore-you-because-I-hate-you" effect. Also, I was messing around, and I found something that said "billing". Uh oh. I noticed that I was charged 10 cents for whatever reason. That was when I realized that Google is a liar and that Google Voice is not free. They make it seem that way, because you don't pay to install it. But it DOES frequently charge to your phone bill. By that time, I was like, fine, this sucks, bye bye Google voice. But then I couldn't find a way to disable it. I called the guy who sent me the invite, and he was also surprised by the evilness of Google, and looked up a way to disable it. Then he told me there was no way. You can't disable Google voice. I will be paying Google my entire life. Well, as long as I have my phone. I spent hours trying to fin a way to get rid of it, but everything said that there was no way. I found out some equally pissed people who had the same problem. This happens when I am starting to like Google, because of Gmail and Chrome and other cool stuff. Now I can delete my Google account, which would erase my email account and YouTube account, oh, AND MY BLOGGER ACCOUNT. That means, if there is no Google Voice, there is no Raging Hobbit. Google has not only charged my contantly, but they have made a threat to my blog. I couldn't find any way I could Email Google and complain, so I really don't know what to do. Apparently Apple and AT&T have seen through this crime, and blocked Google voice on their phone services. I believe it has been sued to, I am am sure other people are writing to Google about this. Now that I hate Google, and Bing, this leaves me with no search engine I like. Maybe I should have a Raging Hobbit search engine, maybe one day. I am surprised that Apple hasn't made a web browser or a search engine, because so far I love everything about Apple. Everything is just so simple... Anyway, do me a favor, don't use Google voice. Ever. Even if God tells you to. Anyway, I talked to Rage, and he ISN'T quitting, he just made up that whole deal because he hasn't posted in a while. No news from I Hate etc etc, but I will fill you in as soon as I get the chance. Another thing, If you don't get the new tagline for The Raging Hobbit, where the conversation ends, I will explain it. The famous tagline for the New York Times is "Where the conversation begins." They talk about new events, and inform you of everything. The Raging Hobbit's job is to talk about things you already know about, and degrade them so much that there is no room for discussion. If you still don't get it...then please stop reading our blog and start reading "I Hate Etc Etc."

...Rant

Bloggas at War!

An enemy blog- Ihateetcetc.blogspot.com, has declared war with The Raging Hobbit. Let me start by talking about how much better our blog is. A.) We have a Facebook fan base. B.) Our posts our longer. C.) We have two authors. D.) we have more followers. The funny thing is, when the I Hate etc. etc. man was posting about how much he hates The Raging Hobbit, I was sitting next to him with an aluminum bat in my hand. Now you may wonder why I didn't just paste him when I had the chance, well the reason is, a blog war must be fought solely through blog posts. This does not mean that all of my new posts will be me criticizing I Hate etc. etc., I will do a usual rant with it too. I am going to talk about movie trailers. Remember that guy who did the voices of like every movie trailer? The one with the deep voice who always started with "In a world.." Don LaFontaine, look him up. Yeah, well. HE DIED. Ever wondered why the new movie trailers NEVER have a guy talking in the background, they just show words on the screen? That is because nobody has a voice quite like Don LaFontaine. Another thing about movie trailers, especially with horror/action movies, They always have one part where a guy says "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" I am so used to it, and it has almost become a kind of tradition in movie trailers. Pay attention next time you watch a movie trailer. You may also notice this- In many movie trailers, during an intense action scene, there is a bear doing the Cotton-Eyed-Joe in the background. Pay attention and you may see...Another thing, you may want to check out some posts that I Hate etc. etc. ripped us on, follow the links in the comments below, because if you are a faithful Hobbit follower, you would know that I can't paste into blog entries.

...Rant

The Monday Morning Rant

I just...KNEW he would forget. Or maybe he just didn't read my post. Anyway, it's Monday morning, and I just got back from the airport, and a lot of things were not excellent, so I am going to talk about airports and airplanes. Ever noticed the way that some of those airport security people look at you? Its like they think everyone in the airport has a desire to bomb it. These guys scare me mostly because they are giving you the death stare and they have guns. Another thing that annoys me about the airport is the precautions they take to prevent terrorism. No diet coke on the plane? I know that some liquids can be mixed to make bombs, but..really? Do they think some 7 year old american kid is going to mix his Orangina with his Mountain Dew and try to kill everyone on the plane- including himself? The best part is- there has never been a case of a terrorist trying to explode a plane by mixing his beverages. I swear some guy just looked up "101 ways to blow up a plane" and made sure none of them were possible. Well, when you're on the plane, things don't get much better. Food is scarce, unless your the type who can go a couple hours with a tiny cup of water and two or three peanuts. Also, the seats never go back enough, so it is impossible to fall asleep. I've seen some people in my lifetime who were asleep without leaning on anything but I SWEAR they were faking it. The In Flight movie selection is also terrible. OK, so I watched "The Brothers Bloom" and it was terrible. But thats not it, The movie keeps playing without sound when the woman rambles on about how many feet in the air we are, and sometimes she talks painfully slow, and you have this urge to choke somebody. There really isn't much to do on planes, so sometimes I try to do the crossword puzzles that nobody could solve in their lifetime. I hate crossword puzzles so much..Its just, the clues..they are terrible! Some clues are just one word that could have a million different answers, like, BUG. CHINESE. MATINÉE. Also there are clues that end in question marks, and just makes you more confused- like BUG? CHINESE? MATINÉE? I managed to get one clue, however, on this crossword puzzle, although it was rather easy. It went like this- "HOW __ YOU?" Now, you should be able to answer this. I think the guy who makes the crossword puzzle feels bad for the passengers, and lets them have a chance at one. I think I got a couple other three letter words, but I don't remember what the clues were. I'm getting off the plane now, and I am covering my ears and praying. Why? Don't you hate when people say "buh-bye?" I think I read an article once about how flight attendants always say "buh-bye" when you're getting off the plane. There are certain things you always see about flight attendants and pilots, I think they are all clones of each other. Flight attendants are always overly nice, and always say "buh-bye" instead of bye or goodbye, and pilots always have southern accents. I feel like I have mentioned that in one of my earlier posts, but I forget which one. Anyway, I better post this soon, otherwise It won;t be Monday morning anymore.

...RANT

Facebook

I know that I have mentioned Facebook and briefly ranted about it on some of my posts, but since Facebook is a very popular thing nowadays, I think it deserves its own post. There are good and bad things about Facebook, but I'm just going to pick out the bad things because that's just what I do. One bad thing about Facebook is the way it keeps changing. I still think the news feed is out of whack and hard to read. Groups are also stupid, I hate them. Facebook groups are inferior to fan pages, just DEAL with it. Can a group post links and photos to the news feed? Nooo. They have to send Facebook Emails that no one reads. Can a group make statuses and interact with the members? Nooo. They have these little discussion things that no one knows about, and people who start discussions like "LAST POST WINS!" Fan pages are awesome, I just love them. I have a fan page for The Raging Hobbit, which has generated more readers then I could imagine. One thing I ....ok. I just got off the phone with Rage, apparently he is not quitting, he was just trying to be noticed like the poor loser he is. As for the fan mail post, it was written by someone I went to school with that I don't know too well, who hacked Rage's computer. Rage should post soon...ANYWAY, something I wanted to mention that you were probably wondering about is the picture below. I made the unfortunante mistake of posting as my status "LAST COMMENT WINS" like the idiot I am. Well, you think 126 is a big number, there are over 200 now. There should be an option to disable comments and "liking". For example, If I posted something that I didn't want people to like, I should at least be able to remove the like. I can remove comments, but not likes. Remember Marshall Sandoval from the bar mitzvah post? Yea..thats the same guy. NOTE- I fuzzy-wuzzied out my name and picture to keep my identity secret. Another thing about the whole "liking" thing, WHERE IS THAT DISLIKE BUTTON? Once I saw someone with the status "sooo much homework" and 2 people LIKED it, just to show agreement, not liking the mass amounts of homework that day. That is why they need dislike button, because the "like" button is losing it's meaning. One last note, yes, I edited that picture above. Another note, as I notice more flaws with Facebook, I may or may not update this note more.

...RANT

The Next SMR and Loitering Scientologists.

I am going to be away this weekend so I will not be able to complete the Sunday Morning Rant. The thing is, even though the Sunday Morning Rant is my thing, two people write this blog. Now I don't know who writes for Rage anymore, I haven't talked to him in a while. Maybe Rage is still writing. I have no idea who to contact, so I will have hope that they read this post by Sunday morning. AND YOU BETTER MAKE IT GOOD. AND LONG. AND FUNNY. OTHERWISE I CHANGE THE PASSWORD AND LOCK YOU OUT OF THE RAGING HOBBIT WORLD FOREVER. Ok, this isn't really a rant, but I needed to write this. I still have to make it longer...hmm..what should I write. I covered everything about Halloween, no one gives a mushroom about thanksgiving, and Christmas isn't until a while...I've talked about dead flamingos and Nazi lifeguards, I've talked about Mormons and..AH! SCIENTOLOGISTS! Ok so I'm not a jerkface who makes fun of religions, but you can harldy call Scientology a religion. Its like..A Star Trek convention. What religion says that THE GALACTIC LORD XENU came to earth in a spaceship and lined people up next to volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs? I laughed hysterically when I heard about this, harder then when I learned about loitering (a loitering Scientologist, wouldn't that be funny?)..(I just added that to the title). Look at this picture I stole from South Park. What is the first thing that comes to mind? (besides south park). The creation of earth? The beginning of life? Yea.. me neither. This is what DOES come to mind...loitering Xenu, loserology, South Park. Anyway, have a good rest-of-Wednesday.

...RANT

The Dentist's House

Ok, as If that title wasn't scary enough. Kind of reminds me of "The Judges House", but dentists are more scary. Anyway, today I am going to talk about a certain neighbor who happens to be a dentist and decorates his house like crazy every year. You've never seen anything like it. During Halloween, you can't even count how many scary heads he puts up. You can barely see the house, that's how much it is. Well, two years ago, some guy thought it would be a good idea to steal a bunch of his decorations. Now as if that was a total bonehead move itself, he decided to TP and egg the whole house. What a loser. The house ended up having no decorations for Halloween that year, and faithful trick or treaters would just walk up to the door without any scares and just ask for candy. Nobody knows who did it, but you'd think it would be pretty obvious if some random guy had the same decorations as the dentist did every year. What was he thinking anyway? Did he want the decorations? If he put them up, everyone would probably know who he is, right? Or did he just want to ruin Halloween for the guy who has the most fun on Halloween every year? At least he didn't steal all of the Christmas lights two months after that. SO, have any of you ever had your house egged/TPed? I have never had anything done to my house, but every year I hide looking out the window for Tpers and eggers. If your reading this, you better not TP or egg my house on mischeif night or I will choke you.

...RANT

Dry Your Tears, It's The Sunday Morning Rant.

Sunday was a nice day, wasn't it? What a day it was. So nice. SO WHY IS EVERYONE ASKING ME ABOUT THE RANT?? YES, I DID NOT RANT ON SUNDAY. Usually I blame the absence of Sunday morning rant on blogger issues, but today I will just tell you that Sunday was the best day in a long time, and posting on a blog was not a good way to use it. Today, I will rant about Halloween. Halloween is my favorite holiday. What better way to spend a night then jump out from bushes and scare random people? Or demand candy from strangers and not get in trouble? Halloween is the best night ever, for me. What I don't like are people that ruin this wonderful night. I remember to years ago when people were saying "OMG! Theres a guy called the sombrero killer and he's this escaped serial killer from Mexico who wears a sombrero all the time and he is going to make a Halloween kill in our town!" OK, so there was no Halloween kill in our town. The sombrero killer probably doesn't exist either. There were also no Baby heads given out as candy, or strawberry drugs in lollipops. No knives in apples, and no explosions. It was just a normal, fun, Halloween night, like it has been every day since Halloween was celebrated. I also hate when people don't answer the door, and tell you to shut up and leave. Those people usually end up with eggs all over their house. Now it's ok if you don't want to participate in the best night of the year, but don't get mad at other people for being normal. I usually try to be somethings scary for Halloween, and I'm thinking along the lines of evil priest/pope. Another thing I hate is how school isn't off on Halloween. So we get off for Columbus day, which no one gives a potato about, but kids don't get off on the best day of the year. Especially since its mainly a kids-themed holiday, they should at least get a partial day. I also think that the day AFTER Halloween should be off considering the time I go to sleep. Fortunately Halloween is on a Saturday, which is the only day in 7 years that you get the whole day off, AND the NEXT day off. Another thing I should talk about and you were probably expecting me to talk about is the previous post.  I don't know if it was Rage or his replacement or whatever, I know just about as much as you do.

...Rant