Saturday, January 2, 2010

Paging Dr. Fail


So my Christmas tree died today. It shouldn't have ran out of water, I had only been away for a few days. But that's not why. My cat has some kind of phobia of his own water dish, so he tends to drink out of my dogs, which is too big for him and he usually soaks his whole face, or, during the Christmas season, when he drinks out of my Christmas tree water. See that, up there? I caught him red-handed! So I know a lot of you are going to comment "OMG that is tooo cute! I am ttly ROFLMAO from this!" Shut up! My Christmas tree has feelings too, and if he was physically fit, he could shank you! I bet he's already pissed at me for trying lights around his and hanging little plastic birds. Rage wouldn't know. He's Jewish. I bet you didn't know that either. Also, I have concluded that my cat is also an alcoholic and a prostitute. Don't believe me? See pictures below! He's sleeping with my dog and my islamic teddy bear! (The one with the red turban). Paging Dr. Fail. Anyway, enough about my cat! I am now going to talk about stuffed shells! So which genius came up with the idea to take a big shell shaped pasta and fill it with ricotta? It looks like an atomically poisoned ravioli. And it feels like you're eating an armadillo. An armadillo with white guts and a soft shell. Whoever thought of stuffed shells obviously had a rivalry with armadillos. Paging Dr. Fail. It's worse even, that the same type of food has been replicated like eight different ways. Manicotti? Ravioli? They are all the same basic idea. So which is my favorite? Stuffed shells. They taste good. So the next time you eat a stuffed shell, manicotti, or ravioli, don't forget that you can make tons of money replicating the same thing! I am going to make a new food called armadillocotti, and take two giant slabs of pasta, and put ricotta and sauce in the middle so it's like a pasta sandwinch! I bet that would taste good. Wait...lasagna? No...it's totally different. A few more things to make this post long. I will make a short list on possible future Raging Hobbit topic discussions.
1. A sign that says "30% more free" Think about it for a while.
2. UFOs and Dennis Kucinich
3. "Auld Lang Syne". What is auld lang syne anyway?
4. Megan Fox
5. Jack Fields
6. My dog
7. Mormons
8. Dumb lists
9. Ran out of ideas, but I need to annoy you by not having an even ten ideas!




...Rant

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