Pepperidge Farms.

A little on Pepperidge Farms. I ran out of double chocolate Milanos the other day, so I decided to make some of my own. On my empty Milano bag, there is a section called, Art Of The Cookie®. Its basically a recipe. Perfect! But not perfect! This is what the recipe was..

Art Of The Cookie®

Begin with a baker's soul. Seek the finest ingredients. Explore Nature's infinite variety of flavors and textures-

Sweet...crunchy...rich... oh, and chocolate. Entertain inspirations. Embrace decadent cravings.

Reward yourself.

Open...taste...delight.

Hm? So I decided to call Pepperidge Farms and ask them about it. Unfortunately, they said they were closed, but didn't say what time they were open. So I called Nabisco, maybe they could help. I didn't realize that they were owned by Kraft. Kraft was pissy and mean and didn't give any information. I called Pepperidge Farms nice and early the next day. The first guy I talked to asked to talk to my parents. I told him they were dead and I hung up on him. The next woman asked me for my age, so she could "address me properly" since when do you address people by their ages? "Hey, 23"..."Yooo....22, whats upppp?". Anyway I ended the call. These were the things I was going to say.

Begin with a baker's soul. What does this mean? Do you have to take it from him? Does he die when you get it? Do you need like a soul reaper to get it for you? Where the hell is the soul anyway? Maybe I'll just cut him open and look around for a soul. The devil has plenty of souls, maybe I can ask him for one he got from a baker. I've already embraced decadent cravings, explored natures infinite variety of flavors and textures, and I have definitely rewarded myself! Its the baker's soul thats the problem. My adaption of Milanos did not go accordingly. I took two slices of bread and put sugar on them, with Nutella in the middle. I baked it at 470˚F, but when I took it out, the bread and nutella didnt taste very good and the sugar fell off when i removed it from the oven. Please help me make Milanos!

BTW, have any of you noticed that weird bump thing on every milano? what is that?

...Rant