Fat Critics

Ever seen a really promising movie trailer and you can't wait to see the movie...then you see the reviews? Movie critics are fat assholes whose job it is to simply watch movies and talk about them. So naturally, they're fat. Although I hate fat people a lot, that isn't the reason I hate movie critics. They are so negative. Who wants to read something where a guy is just ranting about everything he hates? They always have something BAD to say. They watch movies prepared to say something bad about them. Whats the point of even having movie critics anyway? When you see a movie, YOU decide whether its good or not, why do you need some fat drooling asshole to change your mind? Possibly worse than movie critics are food critics. Naturally, they are even fatter, because their job is to eat and talk about food. But food critics vary more so than movie critics do. The "best" food critics are the Italian skinny ones that drink wine and eat olives and start writing stupid poetry about the food and use all these smilies and metaphors or whatever and you can't understand what it says. The lowbrow fatass food "critics" who just want an excuse to eat for a living are all fat, and NONE of them are Italian. I did a quick google search for the phrase "food critic", and the first thing that came up was "wikiHow- How to become a food critic!" Excellent! Lets say I'm a fat kid who loves to eat and wants to eat for a career, lets get started! "If you enjoy tasting a wide variety of foods"...(blah blah blah fat fat fat blah diabetes) "...and love to write, this may be the perfect career for you". If you already have pulled up the link, take note of the images of people stuffing their faces with food. And you always wondered why food critics preferred to be anonymous. They don't want everyone to know the truth behind food critics. Meh, I think I'll pass. I hate movie critics and food critics, they all fall into the same general category of people who can't find a job that doesn't involve doing things they would do on their own time anyway. (i.e. eating, watching movies).

Author's notes-

I personally photoshopped that picture. See what I do for my fans?

In case you didn't get it, at the beginning of the post, I was referring to Nightmare on Elm Street...

Its Ironic how food critics are fat, if you think about it, its almost as ironic as fat doctors and fat gym teachers.

...Rat