End of First Year Statistics/Nearly New Year Wrap Up.

Thanks to those weird guys with cats for helping me make that picture! Anyway, as every meg-ego rag blog site would do, I will wrap up the year in review. Though I don't think the blog has officially been around for more than 7 months. Let's star with the number of losers who actually read this crap every day:

Ha! Never! Nobody ever reads this every day! maybe every other day but nobody! No one at all! Now, number of people who follow the blog:

Start-0
End-11

Wow! Eleven! What a huge number! My fingers can't even count that high! Wow we must have started something big here!

Number of posts in total:

Day 1-3
Today-73

Did we really make 70 posts since day 1? 70? No, we didn't. One was made by a freak mystery blogger [IE Roppy's only love.] You could think of it as only 1 post a day for the last 3 months, or you can think about it as 1 big fat idiot sitting at his computer posting 69 posts in 3 weeks!

Now here are some scary facts. Using only the text within the first posts made by Rant, we have around 64,000 words. Now multiply that by 50. That's a total of 3200000 words only by one idiot in a few months. Wow, you have a life. I've got around...65,000 words. That makes me more sane, right?

Now let's do a re-hash of the very first RH post.

"Lemme start by saying, it would have been cooler if congratulations was on a second line and a bit smaller, to add a sarcastic hint. Well that would be comedy. Oh well. Here, you have a blog, started by someone else, the other guy, who decided it's funny to call short people who talk a lot angry Hobbits. I thought it was funny too. But no, none of that could be, the great dream of the future was crushed, because some fat, friendless, 40-year-old (note the alliteration) took that domain name. Now I am raging. No offense to the latter mentioned. And you know, that brings back memories. Memories of people I hate, so I give you fare warning, you may be offended. #1 Bloggers. What idiots, who cares what they think. They're probably all fat too. I mean, some fat people can be cool, but no bloggers. #2 Book authors. Ever read a good book, love it very much, then look at the back cover and see some big fat idiot who you instantly hate? Authors ruin good books. #3 Pelopel woh cna't spleel. #7 People who can't count #8 Hypocrites #9 Secretaries. With all their time on the computer, I bet they're bloggers. #10 People who repeat themselves. #11 People who repeat themselves. #12 People who start running out of good and hilarious ideas and start repeating themselves. #13 People who have a lot to say, so they put it all in a blog. #14 Nazis. Those mustaches, nuff' said. #16 Bad editors who cut out numbers, AKA people who can't count. #17 Surgeons. They save the lives of people that I hate. Added: Surgeons pretend to work hard on you, but they just want money, then they let you die. #18 Flying toasters. WHAT is wrong with those things, can't they just leave me alone? #19 Advertisers. They're all ove- Buy Oxi-Clean! -r the place! #20 Hurricane Victims. What jerks. #21 Farrah Fawcett. She killed everyone, including MJ. #22 Disney: They killed everyone, including poor Farrah Faucet. #23 Excessively dark people. #24 The director of Epic Movie. I bet his favorite seen was the porno part. What's his name, Quentine Tarantino? Wait... #25 Adam Sandler. If I hear one more F#$%ing movie about bed time stories, I'll wring his neck. #26 Nickelodeon. Disney #2? #27. People who add suggestions to people I hate. I hate who I hate, got that moron? P.S. I hate you. #28-Suggested by The Other Guy: Fat Doctors, they keep telling you to go on a diet when they need to themselves. I hope they die of an artery fluke. #29 . The Other Guy. #30 Ugly people dating each other. They scarred me for life, and turned me into a dark, brooding person. #32 People who forget easily, If you don't remember things, how can you hate? Like the way I will always hate people who can't count. #33. I forgot the name for #32. What was it again? Oh yeah, amnesia patients. #34 Amnesia patients. The always forget what they just did. #35 PDF documents. Just look at them. #35 People who drag things out forever. #36 People who make rash inside jokes in public places where no one will get them. Pumpkins, pumpkins, pumpkins. #37 People who fall in love with non existent things, like Sparkling Vampires. #38 I <3> #39 People who make knock knock jokes. #40 People who just don't get it. AckJay IeldsFay. I bet he'll never know I just talked about him. #43 To end on an odd number, I'll wrap this up with the one thing I hate the most in the world. More than people who forget what they just did, and more than people who repeat themselves a lot, more than people who can't spell or count, Bloggers. The biggest idiots in the world. So I weclome you to the world of self-hating elehpant pig eating fliyng toatsers who (don''t) lkie to say Hlelo! Editors note: Excsure teHTypsos. -Rage, and Rant"

Rant edited his own words in there. It's hard to do a rehash/flashback/round up episode at the end of the year in words. It makes everything longer. Anyway, here are the short words of our mystery blogger, who shall never be forgotten.

Isn't that an ugly duckling??? I have hard of one before but never this ugly That is my duck His name is Roppy The vet told me that it wasn't a she But it definitely isn't a he So maybe it is a he/she A transvestite???? I mean transexual Or is that only for humans? Well i guess i could consider he/she a human I don't know G2g bye! --Roppys only love

So what's next? What could we possibly bring up? Fat men? The 5 some posts about Flamingos? You see it all here on the Raging Hobbit. So what more do you want? Well let's go back in time and see an old classic picture of our favorite ex-president:


On this website, there are tons of funny pictures. I can guarantee you another statistic, 99.99% of all of them were stolen off another site. I'm going to give you one last post, this one made by Rant, before I close up.

"Ok, so some Facebook friend posted "who wants a Google voice invite?" as their status. I naturally looked up "Google voice" and found out that it was free, but you could only get it by invite. So I got an invite from this friend, and it looked pretty cool so I set it up. Once I got it, I knew it was a mistake. You couldn't do anything that they said you could, like make a personalized outgoing message for different people, or change ringtones for different people, and even if you could, they would have to call your "Google Number". One problem, no one knows what my Google number is, and they have no reason to call it. Also, when you call it, it notifies the person that this is not your real number, which kind of ruins the "heres-the-number-I-will-give-you-because-I-want-to-block-your-calls-so-I-can-ignore-you-because-I-hate-you" effect. Also, I was messing around, and I found something that said "billing". Uh oh. I noticed that I was charged 10 cents for whatever reason. That was when I realized that Google is a liar and that Google Voice is not free. They make it seem that way, because you don't pay to install it. But it DOES frequently charge to your phone bill. By that time, I was like, fine, this sucks, bye bye Google voice. But then I couldn't find a way to disable it. I called the guy who sent me the invite, and he was also surprised by the evilness of Google, and looked up a way to disable it. Then he told me there was no way. You can't disable Google voice. I will be paying Google my entire life. Well, as long as I have my phone. I spent hours trying to fin a way to get rid of it, but everything said that there was no way. I found out some equally pissed people who had the same problem. This happens when I am starting to like Google, because of Gmail and Chrome and other cool stuff. Now I can delete my Google account, which would erase my email account and YouTube account, oh, AND MY BLOGGER ACCOUNT. That means, if there is no Google Voice, there is no Raging Hobbit. Google has not only charged my constantly, but they have made a threat to my blog. I couldn't find any way I could Email Google and complain, so I really don't know what to do. Apparently Apple and AT&T have seen through this crime, and blocked Google voice on their phone services. I believe it has been sued to, I am am sure other people are writing to Google about this. Now that I hate Google, and Bing, this leaves me with no search engine I like. Maybe I should have a Raging Hobbit search engine, maybe one day. I am surprised that Apple hasn't made a web browser or a search engine, because so far I love everything about Apple. Everything is just so simple... Anyway, do me a favor, don't use Google voice. Ever. Even if God tells you to. Anyway, I talked to Rage, and he ISN'T quitting, he just made up that whole deal because he hasn't posted in a while. No news from I Hate etc etc, but I will fill you in as soon as I get the chance. Another thing, If you don't get the new tagline for The Raging Hobbit, where the conversation ends, I will explain it. The famous tagline for the New York Times is "Where the conversation begins." They talk about new events, and inform you of everything. The Raging Hobbit's job is to talk about things you already know about, and degrade them so much that there is no room for discussion. If you still don't get it...then please stop reading our blog and start reading "I Hate Etc Etc."

...Rant"

The infamous post that inspired the other google post. Actually neither of them attracted any attention whatsoever. This post kind of sucked. But I still liked it.


So now you have it, RH in a nutshell. Except it's not in a nutshell. It's in a post. I hate the expression in a nutshell. Everyone knows nuts go in sacks.


-RAGE/Rage