Let it Snow!

It's that time of year kids! Less than 2 weeks 'till a strange fat man who loves "ho's" crawls down your chimney to "give you a present." As for everyone else, that time's only two days away! And to hell if I knew when Kwanzaa was. So happy Hanuka and all of those other minorities which add up to a majority holidays! But I'm not here to talk about commercialized bliss. Today I'm here to talk about the one thing we can all appreciate in winter (except southern Californians, and well Alaska and Russia are pretty much always snowing,) snowing! What do we know about snow? Well, today I'll make it interesting. I'll read three facts from a cult bible about snow:

1. Snow is God's dandruff.
2. Snow is not water.
3. When it begins to snow, it means it's time again to have three more children...with your own daughter!

Yes, and if you don't believe me, why don't you look it up on emormony! Note that besides the fact that it's a twist of eharmony and Mormons, it also says "more money!" No offense, Mormons.

Now that I insulted one religion I'll have to insult them all! Have a crap holiday, you ungrateful air worshipping fools! You too idol worshipers! And even you atheists! Go buy your presents and shove em' up your a-- you --- for --- in the--- with a ------------ and while your at it-------------- you ugly -------- dipwad----------------!

Note: None of the above stated is actually true and the author is not held responsible for mocking every human being on earth.

-Rage!

EDIT: Shit! I just fell for that Goddamn bullshit find the differences thing! Someone could have warned me!

It's not even scary, but my volume was Goddamn on high! I'm gonna fucking kill you! I'm probably deaf now! Asshole!

15 days!