The Last Rant...

That's right you big, fat idiot. I may be retiring, after such a short and pathetic life of 7 posts or so. Well, I'm going to take this opportunity to let out my hatred of all of the most annoying things in the world. I'll start off with the people who pester me about my retiring. One day, this big, white loser comes up to me and says "Hey, I think your funny?" I was going to reply with a nice, friendly "Step away you big fat idiot," but I didn't want to waste my breath, nor, was he fat. So if you think I'm funny, you are a sick, twisted cutter who really has nothing better to do. Stop reading. Now.
Next, we have this webs-maybe it's better not to talk about them. I'll just blame Laura Bush. Laura Bush won't let me forward my paragraphs with that beauty we call the "tab" button. The tab button indents, you hear me you buttwipe? You are so stupid. You even cut off the side of my Firefox-Satan pitchfork and his tail arrow. Does life hate me? No, it's this we-Laura Bush.
Next, it's when people request for me to make a rant about someone else. What I f I have a secret dieing passion for them? Well, in this case I don't, as my heart belongs to myself, not, may I add, the PC computer helper lady. I think I just lost my complexion.

Now, we get into the meat. The big, juicy, and oh-so-loveable heart of the rant. Mozilla Firefox. I think they may be one of the best internet services around. We've got the tone deaf Opera, who likes that? I may like to go on a Safari but I'd hate to explore the internet. I'd never in my life go to AOL. There's not even a pun for that internet service. It just sucks. So, now Mozilla Firefox gets an update to try to keep up with Safari, who started after them and is already ahead of the game. They put a dumbass shiny light on the icon at the top with the update of Firefox 4607 or something. That's an uncool move. My Satan Firefox is already outdated with this crap.

Here's what really ticks me off. Every time I open up five tabs, the 5th tab becomes it's own internet browser. My computer spazzes out, my crack-ass PDF which I finally got to load turns black, and I can't click on anything until that stupid we browser opens. Why would they do that? The point of tabs is so you DON'T have to open up more than one web browser. Jesus Christ. How inconvenient? Imagine if you're a lifeless fat moron who has nothing better to do than look at internet porno all the time? That splitting moment when the fifth beautiful picture opens up could allow the 80,000 Malaysian viruses programmed in the website to leak into your computer. Now, I'll put this in retrospect with the non-porn watching, uncommon man, who would have been common 60 years ago before comic books were invented to ruin kids' lives. You are playing internet scrabble. It's in adobe player 567899879, and your computer freezes when you open that 5th game. Say bye-bye to ultimate tournament and say hello to actually BUYING a Scrabble board rather than playing quasi-copyright infringing facebook scrabbleous.

So, I bid you all a not so fare-well, yes, I did cheat you out of 20 minutes of your life, and may you all remember me as the one who did absolutely nothing.

P.S. If this site instantly makes millions when I lose, I want half the profit or I will kill my successor. Yes, the one I have no power over and do not even personally know. Well I do personally know him, but I'm too paranoid so I force myself to rephrase it so the government doesn't go after me for saying I'd like to "kill" someone.

Worst Regards,
-Rage